Apple, in case you don't know, doesn't give two hoots in Hell about Black Friday. And, it hasn't for a few years. After its big comeback, it doesn't care what day you waltz into an Apple store nor does it care what day you order online. Apple just doesn't care. If you think it does care, I can prove you wrong with this list of ten reasons why it doesn't. Should you believe that you're up to the challenge of disputing even one of my reasons, please attempt it at your own peril.
I present these ten reasons for your edutainment in Lettermanesque (reverse) order.
10. Apple doesn't discount its products. If you don't know this by now, you'll never know it. Apple doesn't discount its products regardless of the time of year. There are no Apples Sales or deep discounts to be had. Retailers who carry Apple products complain about this to no avail. The only discounts on Apple products that you'll ever see are when Apple releases a newer version (Has happened a lot lately) or for refurbished products.
9. Apple has too much money. If you roll the clock back a few years, Apple might care. To tell the truth, when Apple was 90 days from bankruptcy a decade or so ago, it probably cared a little. Now, not at all. The company has too much money to worry about when you purchase one of their iThingies.
8. Apple has always been a bit pompous. Apple's attitude is that, "We have the best and coolest products around, so buy them or don't buy them, we don't care." An attitude that almost cost them the "farm" but it seems to have served the company well since Jobs took the reins back. My guess is that holidays and seasons mean nothing to Apple. The only focus is the product release dates--the only holidays the company cares about. The pomposity is so heavy, I'd be shocked if Apple doesn't lobby for a Steve Jobs Day or an Apple Day at some point.
7. Apple has a rancid fan base. Oh sure, every technology has its fan base but there's something extra zealous about a Mact--, OK, I said I wouldn't use that term anymore. Umm, let's call them Mac Addicts for more political correctness, shall we. Mac Addicts are so into the products that they're smug about it. I used to label Mac/Apple people as ponytailed, Prius-driving, rainbow-stickered, sandal-wearing, Tofu eaters aka Smug. Look in the dictionary at the word smug and there's a picture of Cupertino, California.
6. It's the Apple Generation. Look at any suburban group of teens or twenty-somethings and you'll see them all staring into their iGadgets, swiping, tapping, texting and ignoring--ignoring the people around them for those who are somewhere else doing the same thing. Young people are into technology and Apple gives them what they want at a price only their parents can afford. The Apple Generation loves Apple tech. It sets them apart and above their less fortunate peers. Apple knows this, therefore Apple knows it's whenever little Sally or little Johnny wants the next iGadget that drives the purchase, not a holiday.
5. Apple doesn't stock up. If you read my recent rant, "Why can't you just buy an iPad mini?", then you know that Apple doesn't keep enough product on hand to sell at Black Friday, Gray Friday or <insert color here> Friday. Do yourself a favor and just buy it online. Free shipping (shock of shocks there) and free engraving are totally worth the two week wait. Holidays be dashed.
4. Apple has its own agenda. Apple doesn't operate on the same calendar as everyone else. There's a holiday on almost any day of the year somewhere in the world. Black Friday and Cyber Monday aren't going to be that much of a buying rush for Apple products because availability is relatively constant and Apple seems to have its own agenda for supplying its demand. It's almost as if Apple wants it to be difficult to buy its products. Funny thing about agendas; they never really serve anyone's best interests.
3. Apple is the Tin Woodsman of Tech. Well, it's sort of the Tin Woodsman of Tech. Like the Tin Woodsman of The Wizard of Oz, Apple no longer has a heart. The real Tin Woodsman wanted a heart. I think Apple no longer has a heart because now it's just a machine that cranks out product after product without regard for its customers. You, the customer are now just a blip on a chart--a sales number. You no longer exist. Apple proved that when it release three iPads in one year. No heart.
2. Apple believes that it's untouchable. Apple has acquired that same attitude that plagues so many individuals who gain power and money; the feeling is that they're above everyone else and untouchable. There's an old saying that goes, "A bird never flew so high that it didn't have to light (land)." I hope that Apple realizes that it should heed the wise words of Jimmy Durante who said, "Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down." You're not untouchable Apple.
And, the number one reason that Apple doesn't care about Black Friday is...drum roll, please. Wait for it...
1. Apple is Apple. Apple doesn't care about Black Friday because it's Apple. Apple plays by its own rules. It makes the products that you want. You'll wait. You'll pay the too high price. You'll stand in lines. It doesn't have to be Black Friday for you to camp out to overpay for the latest iBling. Every release day looks like Black Friday. Apple wants to be the world's first trillion dollar company. Apple doesn't care what day it is nor should it.
What do you think? Give me one of your own. Why do you think Apple doesn't care about Black Friday? Talk back and let me know.