4. Buy Twitter, Dropbox, and Fitbit — and still have plenty left over
Twitter is currently, by market cap, worth about $24.7 billion, which might have been wise to snap up sooner to avoid shuttering its failed Ping social network. While Dropbox hasn't hit the stock market yet, it's estimated to be worth about $10 billion. As for Fitbit, the wearable tech titan is still drumming up funding and is estimated to be worth about $300 million, and could give the company a big leg-up in the wearables and watch market.
And even with those acquisitions, that's just 22 percent of its overall cash pile. It could spend even more on acquisitions, or invest more in the companies it buys to integrate them further into its own products.
5. Give every Apple shareholder a one-time dividend
If Apple were to give a one-time dividend to its shareholders, they would receive around $178 in cash per share. There are currently just over 892 million shares in Apple.
Back in 2002, Microsoft was sitting on about $36 billion in cash. Investors and company chairman Bill Gates disagreed on what to do with it. Gates wanted Microsoft to have enough cash on hand to operate for at least a year without generating a cent. But shareholders demanded a dividend.
6. Invest in buying every U.S. school and college student
Apple has enough cash to buy every U.S. high school and college kid a top of the range iPad, more than a dozen times over. There are about 82.3 million high school and college students as of a five-year estimate ending 2012 from the American Community Survey. If Apple dished out a top-of-the-range iPad Air (128GB, Wi-Fi) to every student, that would still chip away about $65.7 billion. So, Apple could give them two and still have about $18 billion left for a rainy day.
7. Make Hungary a good offer
Hungary has a gross domestic product (GDP) of about $125.5 billion, according to a 2012 census by the World Bank. It also has about $46 billion in cash in its reserve. Bang the two together and you make up $171.5 billion, which is just outside Apple's reach. But it's not to say that it couldn't drum up a bit more in cash, or make a good offer as it stands.
8. End world hunger?
According to Goldman Sachs, it would cost about $175 billion, representing just over Apple's cash pile, and about 0.7 percent of the income of the richest countries in the world. The U.S. by comparison spends about $680 billion each year on its military program alone. Apple could make a huge dent in this area, but it really requires government efforts and international treaties.
9. Forget the iPhone cellular carriers. Own one
The iPhone represents about half of Apple's business. Rumors began to spin a few years ago when the long-awaited device came out that the company could also run the networks behind the device. It's still possible, but it's unlikely. Bypassing the telecom companies could result in a huge long-term payoff for the investment.
T-Mobile, which says it has the fastest mobile Internet service to date, is worth about $24.7 billion, about 15 percent of its cash pile — while Sprint is worth a bit more at about $34.8 billion, or 22 percent of its cash. Even after buying the two cellular giants, Apple would still have just shy of $100 billion left.
10. Plug 0.7 percent of the U.S.' federal debt
As of the fourth-quarter of 2013, the U.S. federal debt was $17.35 trillion. If Apple pumped every cent of its cash into the U.S. Treasury, it would have almost no effect, plugging just 0.91 percent of the debt.
The effect would be additionally minimal, seeing as the debt increases by about $46,100 per second, meaning the U.S. would make up that cash injection in just 39 days.
11. Do nothing — which is the most likely option
Again, we should point out that over half of Apple's profits are attributable to just one device: the iPhone. Apple saw its stock tank by 8 percent in after-hours trading after it missed analyst expectations on iPhone sales at its first-quarter earnings in January. If the next, or following iPhone turns out to be a dud, the company could be in trouble.
And, Apple chief executive Tim Cook said before, on acquisitions, he was “not going to go out and buy something for the purposes of just being big."
The likelihood is that Apple will continue to drum up cash from its high-margin devices, and dish it back to investors and shareholders over time. It's dull, but that's big business for you.