15 Best Things To Eat As You Tweet

15 Best Things To Eat As You Tweet

Summary: Having trouble typing with one hand and eating with the other? Sr. Technology Editor and infamous foodie Jason Perlow has you covered.


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  • Giant Turkey Leg

    Nothing says "I tweet, but I'm a badass" more than a giant hunk of meat. But entire steaks or other large pieces of cooked animal protein are nearly impossible to eat single-handed unless they have some sort of built-in handle.

    Turkey legs, typically served grilled or barbecued not only show that your are imposing and Viking-like, but also appreciate food with excellent industrial design characteristics.

  • Munchkins

    Everyone loves donuts. But most donuts are too big and messy to eat while you're trying to Tweet.

    Munchkins, made by Dunkin Donuts are the answer. These spherical orbs of magical cakey goodness come in eleven flavors, which include cinnamon cake, chocolate glazed and Jelly-Filled.

    They even have seasonal variations for the holidays which include pumpkin pie.

    Like their larger donut cousins, Munchkins require hot coffee for full effect. So it may present a challenge juggling the styrofoam cup and stuffing your hand into the 48-count mega-box at the same time.

  • Bagel with Shmear

    As a member of the Tribe, I thought very carefully about what food product from the Chosen People should be employed for Twitter and Texting, and I agonized a great deal over which one to choose.

    Kosher Hot Dog? Pastrami Sandwich? Potato Knish? It became a interalized debate of Talmudic proportions.

    But no, there could only be one.

    Bagel with Cream Cheese. What could be better?

    The toroid shape makes it ergonomically perfect for holding in your hand, and there is nothing better or more simple in the morning after a long night of partying with computer industry vendors and startups and then having to resume the drudgery of communicating with your flock.

    The smooth, neutrally-flavored cream cheese almost wipes those Grey Goose martinis and Jaeger shots away.

    Just ask prolific Twitterer, Gartner analyst and fellow Hebrew Michael Gartenberg -- not only does he love his morning bagel, but he tweets pictures OF his bagels, including the crappy airline ones.

    For the twitterati, I reccomend flavors such as pumpernickel, whole wheat or plain, as "Everything" and other seeded and topped varieties can cause a rain of debris on your clothing and into your keyboard.

Topic: Social Enterprise


Jason Perlow, Sr. Technology Editor at ZDNet, is a technologist with over two decades of experience integrating large heterogeneous multi-vendor computing environments in Fortune 500 companies. Jason is currently a Partner Technology Strategist with Microsoft Corp. His expressed views do not necessarily represent those of his employer.

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  • Umm, what?

    Umm, what?

    Really, you decided to write about this?????
    • I wrote it...

      On a dare.
      • What a tasty post

        But calories and cholesterol count would make those dishes a rare feat if you are not going to gain weight.

        So next post about this theme could be "15 Best Healthy Things To Eat As You Tweet" -- so people could choose something from there that could be eatable much more frequently than this original list.
        • Why?

          That would be no fun at all.
  • An interesting alternative

    If you don't want to give your stomach justified reason to kick you violently in the groin (which it would, if it could, when confronted with the food you recommend), you may want to consider this fine alternative: http://www.agf.nl/nieuws/2009/0529/tommies1.jpg

    Excellent and tasty, yet healthy! :-)
    • Some more healthy yummies

      Little paprika's:

      Little cucumbers as well:

      Ideal for productive tweeting. :-)
  • Twinkies?!

    Are Twinkies even food?
    Rabid Howler Monkey
    • Not really

      Not really, they're basically sugar. No nutritional value, and they're not very filling at all.
    • No.

      They're an edible food-like substance, but not real food. Real food eventually spoils or rots. Twinkies, even unwrapped, last forever. Scary.
  • You left out one obvious food choice. BEANS!

    The more beans you eat, the more you tweet. Grin.
  • Just a note to the ZDNET web manager

    I posted the comment above while logged in with my normal ID. Surprisingly, ZDNet listed me as anonymous rather than as Kenosha77a. Curious.
    • Same has been happening to a lot of us.

      Same has been happening to a lot of us, it appears. Including myself (CobraA1). Seems to be a bug. And being that we're on the weekend now, it's not likely going to be fixed for a couple days.
  • A Steve Ballmer favorite, I suppose

    going on waistline alone.
    NoMore MicrosoftEver
  • Really dumb idea -- but clever!

    This is a really dumb....uh, wait a minute! I found myself clicking through item after item, and getting hungry.

    OK: A really *great* dumb idea! And you know how rare those are!
  • Twinkies?

    That's for dumb, fat Micro$oft fanbuis waiting to stand in line for Apple's next commercial involving the PC guy.
  • Awesome article, save the Turkey legs for the Dead shows!!

    Great get away from reality!! Thanks for the smile.
  • What, no steamed buns?

    Sweet BBQ pork filled bao or Vietnamese egg, sausage, veggie buns, all in a portable, steam-cooked dough ball. What's not to love (...or tweet about)?

    Just try to keep the chicken-sauce (Sriracha) out of the keyboard (and any part of your face other than your pie-hole >_< ).
  • Great Article

    Good article Jason. It was actually entertaining to click through the pictures. Of course the very serious minded and those who are going to live forever dislike it. I did notice a few disparaging remarks about fat people. How nice of that commenter. Keep up the good work! How about another article real soon that annoys the wanna be yuppies?