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Give every American a check for $436
Now we know that the current U.S. population stands at 314 million residents, if Apple were to divide up its cash reserves equally between everyone living in the country, each American could receive a check for about $436.
This time around, sure, even the kids can have a check if they want one. They can put it towards the ever-burgeoning price of college tuition.
Buy Starbucks, Facebook and Yahoo in one fell swoop
Because you never know when you'll need a coffee maker, a former Web portal giant, and a current Web giant at the drop of a hat—especially for Apple.
Give every Apple shareholder a one-time dividend
If Apple were to give a one-time dividend to its shareholders, they would receive around $146 in cash per share. There are currently just over 939 million shares in Apple.
This might not actually seem like a lot, but remember that this is per share. Some people own a million shares. For instance, Apple chief executive Tim Cook was awarded exactly that, which if he were on the receiving end of a dividend (that he would have to approve, funnily enough) he would receive $146 million in total.
Not bad, is it?