Exclusive: Early unboxing and teardown of Apple iPad

After hearing that UPS was holding all iPad orders until April 3rd, I was very surprised when mine arrived two days early! This morning I awoke to find this package sitting on my doorstep:

The packaging quality was not exactly up to Apple's usual standards, and it smelled a little strange, but I wasted no time tearing into it to discover the magic within. This next picture shows the first glimpse of my new toy, still covered in a white plastic wrapping:

After removing all the wrapping I was eager to tear into it to see what makes it tick. First, I carefully cracked open the case with my handy sonic splodger:

I wasn't sure what to expect given all the hype coming from Steve Jobs and Apple. How could they possibly fit all those features in such a tiny package? The answer became obvious once the seal was broken. Using Steve's patented Reality Distortion Field (r), Apple engineers have made the iPad bigger on the inside than it is on the outside:

Taking a closer look at the central processing unit, you can see the heart of the iPad. This is state-of-the-art, cutting edge stuff folks, never seen before outside of Cupertino labs. Note the graceful lines and the timeless elegance that only Apple can achieve:

So there you have it - the Apple iPad in all its glory. This truly is a revolution in technology, a "magical" invention that is going to change the way we live and work.

By the way, Happy April Fools' Day!