Is your software project failing?

The codesqueeze blog has got a funny post called, 101 Ways To Know Your Software Project Is Doomed.

The codesqueeze blog has got a funny post called, 101 Ways To Know Your Software Project Is Doomed. Here are a few choice comments from the list:

  • You start hiring consultants so they can take the blame
  • All of your requirements are written on a used cocktail napkin
  • You are friends with the janitor
  • Your manager thinks ‘Metrics’ is a type of protein drink
  • Every bug is prioritized as Critical
  • Every feature is prioritized as Trivial
  • Project estimates magically match the budget
  • Developers use the excuse of ’self documenting code’ for no comments
  • You still believe compiling is a form of testing
  • Team Rule - No meetings until 10 AM since we were all here until 2 AM
  • Your spouse only gets to see you on a webcam
  • Your manager insists that you track all activity but never uses the information to make decisions
  • Your manager thinks being SOX compliant means not working on baseball nights
  • Your manager spends his lunch hour crying in his car (another true story)
  • Your boss expects you to spend the next 2 days creating a purchase request for a $50 component
  • The sales team decreased your estimates because they believe you can work faster
  • Everyday you work until Midnight, everyday your boss leaves at 4:30
  • Your manager loves to say “Why do the developers care? They get paid by the hour.”
  • The project code name is renamed to ‘The Death March’
  • Now it physically pains you to say the word - Yes
  • To reward you for all of your overtime your boss purchases a new coffee maker
  • Your project budget is entered in the company ledger as ‘Corporate Overhead’
  • You secretly outsource pieces of the project so you can blog at work
  • Daily you consider breaking your fingers for the short term disability check
  • The deadline has been renamed a ‘milestone’…just like the last ‘milestone’
  • The project manager is spotted consulting a Ouija board
  • Budget for testing exists as “if we have time”
  • The client will only talk about the requirements after they receive a fixed estimation
  • The boss does not find the humor in Dilbert
  • The project manager likes to doodle during requirements gathering meetings
  • Your timesheet looks like a Powerball ticket
  • Your manager substitutes professional consultant advice for a Magic 8 Ball
  • Broken unit tests are deleted because they are obviously out of date

This stuff is so funny, and it's only partial list. Check out the original post and laugh.

The sad part is how many of these actually ring true for real projects in real organizations.

[via the Why SDM blog]

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