Is your software project failing?

The codesqueeze blog has got a funny post called, 101 Ways To Know Your Software Project Is Doomed. Here are a few choice comments from the list:

You start hiring consultants so they can take the blame

All of your requirements are written on a used cocktail napkin

You are friends with the janitor

Your manager thinks ‘Metrics’ is a type of protein drink

Every bug is prioritized as Critical

Every feature is prioritized as Trivial

Project estimates magically match the budget

Developers use the excuse of ’self documenting code’ for no comments

You still believe compiling is a form of testing

Team Rule - No meetings until 10 AM since we were all here until 2 AM

Your spouse only gets to see you on a webcam

Your manager insists that you track all activity but never uses the information to make decisions

Your manager thinks being SOX compliant means not working on baseball nights

Your manager spends his lunch hour crying in his car (another true story)

Your boss expects you to spend the next 2 days creating a purchase request for a $50 component

The sales team decreased your estimates because they believe you can work faster

Everyday you work until Midnight, everyday your boss leaves at 4:30

Your manager loves to say “Why do the developers care? They get paid by the hour.”

The project code name is renamed to ‘The Death March’

Now it physically pains you to say the word - Yes

To reward you for all of your overtime your boss purchases a new coffee maker

Your project budget is entered in the company ledger as ‘Corporate Overhead’

You secretly outsource pieces of the project so you can blog at work

Daily you consider breaking your fingers for the short term disability check

The deadline has been renamed a ‘milestone’…just like the last ‘milestone’

The project manager is spotted consulting a Ouija board

Budget for testing exists as “if we have time”

The client will only talk about the requirements after they receive a fixed estimation

The boss does not find the humor in Dilbert

The project manager likes to doodle during requirements gathering meetings

Your timesheet looks like a Powerball ticket

Your manager substitutes professional consultant advice for a Magic 8 Ball

Broken unit tests are deleted because they are obviously out of date

This stuff is so funny, and it's only partial list. Check out the original post and laugh.

The sad part is how many of these actually ring true for real projects in real organizations.

[via the Why SDM blog]