My wife wants an Apple Watch. What's a hater to do?

On Father's Day, after I'd opened my new GoPro Hero action camera, my wife informs me that she wants an Apple Watch. She didn't realize that "They're only $349". Only!? By a show of hands, how many of you think that $349 is somehow cheap? I don't think it is. I wouldn't buy any watch I've ever seen for $349. For $349, that watch would somehow have to earn me some money by predicting the future or churning up some winning lottery numbers. If $349 is cheap, I wonder why I didn't get a Hero 3, 3+, or 4? I got the "entry level" model. Not that I'm complaining. It's still a GoPro and it's OK. It's not a 3 or better, even though now on eBay, you can buy them for just a little more than the Hero that lacks every feature that I really want. But, this isn't about me, it's about my wife and her desire for an Apple Watch.

I don't really care for wearables, especially so-called smart watches. If they're so smart, why do you have to constantly tether them to your phone? I already have a phone, so why do I need the watch, if I also have to have my phone too? I just don't get it and I never will. Mr. Spock would take one look at that situation and say, "Illogical".

Again, and I'm sorry that I have to keep going back to this, it isn't about me. She wants an Apple Watch because she wants to be able to lay her phone down, walk away and still receive email notifications, text notifications, and possibly answer her phone with it. She has an iPhone 6 (not the plus) -- the 6 is big enough. If she wanted to carry a tablet, she could carry her iPad mini with her.

She also wants the fitness app connection on the Apple Watch. Apparently it has a lot of fitness features that she likes. Florence Griffith Joyner didn't need one to be the fastest woman of all time. Michael Phelps didn't have one when he one eight gold medals. I didn't have one when I ran the 100 yard* dash back in high school. For some reason, athletes these days need to have some gadget strapped to their arms, a water bottle constantly available, and $75 anti-bacterial shirts to work out in. I just don't get it.

My wife wants an Apple Watch, or rather, requires one under the guise of, "Honey, you can write about it, if I get one". Oh yeah, let me get right on that. So, you get the $349 Apple Watch so that I can write about it. You know what I'd have loved? A GoPro Hero 4 Black to write about. Now, I could align with that plan.

I haven't seen an Apple Watch in real life yet. I'm sure I'll soon have that opportunity. She wants to try one out at the Apple Store before taking the plunge. Oh sure, once we enter the Realm de Pomme, she'll walk out the proud new owner of a new Apple Watch. It's OK if she buys one. I'm not 100 percent opposed to it, although it's a costly lesson for her and an opportunity for me to write about it. Awesome. I'm actually stoked at the very prospect of that opportunity, although I'm pretty sure everything that can be said about the Apple Watch has already been said. And you can replace the word 'written' for 'said' in that last sentence too.

And it's not just Apple smart watches that I'm against; it's smart watches in general. I don't see the appeal, the need, or the practicality of one. But that's just me.

As my youngest son says, "A hater's gotta hate", so don't expect an overnight conversion to what I consider to be the dark side of techno-gadgetry. I'm not old school. I don't wear an analog watch either. I have one somewhere, but can't seem to find it. Perhaps if it were a smart watch, I could find it with iCloud or something. OK, that's one point for the Apple Watch.

I'll keep you posted on our progress toward the purchase of an Apple Watch or other smart watch. Perhaps I'll film the whole experience on my GoPro Hero and link to the video for you to see the process.

What do you think of the Apple Watch? Do you have one? What's your experience? Is it worth the money or is it all hype? Talk back and let me know.

*Yes, it was that long ago when athletes still measured distances in yards, not meters.