The BT Crowd

Our esteemed national incumbent has just sent out a press release detailing the ten stupidest things customers have allegedly told their IT helpdesk services. Some of these (the second in particular) are - by IT standards - hoary chestnuts by now, but I'm willing to give BT the benefit of the doubt that people still say 'em. Enjoy.

Customer: “My mouse mat isn’t wired up” Advisor: “I’m not sure I understand, your mouse mat shouldn’t have any wires.” Customer: “Well how does it know where my mouse is? Is it wireless?”

Advisor: “Press any key to continue.” Customer: “I can’t find the ‘Any’ key.”

Customer: “I keep getting inappropriate pop-ups on my computer and don’t want my wife to think that it’s me.” Advisor: “I will remove them for you.” Customer: “How do I get them back when she is not in?”

Customer: “I met a man on the internet, can you give me his phone number?”

Advisor: “You have spyware on your machine which is causing the problem.” Customer: “Spyware? Can they see me getting dressed through the monitor?”

Customer: “How do I change channel on my monitor?” Advisor: “Your monitor won’t have channels like a TV.” Customer: “But I was watching the internet channel the other day and now I just get the word processing channel.”

Advisor: “Can you click on ‘My Computer’?” Customer: “I don’t have your computer, just mine.”

Customer: “My 14 year-old son has put a password on my computer and I can’t get in.” Advisor: “Has he forgotten it?” Customer: “No he just won’t tell me it because I’ve grounded him.”

Customer: “I have lost my work.” Advisor: “Let’s see if we can get your documents back for you?” Customer: “You don’t understand, I’ve lost my job and I want to get on to the internet to find a new one.”

Customer: “My internet isn’t working” Advisor: “What modem are you using, is everything connected up?” Customer: “No I haven’t taken the computer or the modem out of their boxes yet!”