While this one made the rounds a few months ago and gained some notoriety already on other news sites and blogs, I can't help but include it here too.
Sometimes we get a lot of product samples, typically mobile phone cases and books about starting a startup.
This is one product sample I will not follow up on. Read for yourself:
Lollyphile, a gourmet lollipop company, is happy to announce they now offer Breast Milk Lollipops & have a revamped website that doesn't look like it was built by a blind monkey using Geocities in 1998.
For Immediate Release
Austin, Texas, (June 4th, 2013) – Award-winning gourmet lollipop company, Lollyphile (www.lollyphile.com), is super happy to announce that they now carry Breast Milk Lollipops and have a new & easier to use website.
I don't know if it's because I'm getting older, but it seems like all of my friends are having babies these days,” said Jason Darling, the owner of Lollyphile. “Sure, the kids are all crazy cute, but what slowly dawned on me was that my friends were actually producing milk so delicious it could turn a screaming, furious child into a docile, contented one. I knew I had to capture that flavor."
Lollyphile prides itself on offering lollipop flavors that don’t exist anywhere else, from Absinthe to Sriracha. "Any company can make up nostalgic flavors," said Darling. "We'd like to think that we're tapping into a flavor our customers loved before they even knew how to think."
"It's sad that so few people are able to remember this inherently wonderful flavor," Darling continued. "It's a real shame that babies are so selfish, but you'll understand their unwillingness to share once you try one of these."
Lollyphile's website has been revamped into a new, not-painful-to-browse format and has been populated with fun (and even sexy) pictures of Lollyphile's friends and family. "Our old website looked like it had been built by a blind monkey using Geocities in 1998. I'm not embarrased to admit that I was that monkey," said Darling. "Our new site has great design, fantastic models, and even (for some reason) a commercial! It's been a lot of fun to put together, and we are going to continue to add new models as new flavors come out."
For more information about Lollyphile or Breast Milk Lollipops, or if you’d like high resolution pictures, samples, or discount codes for your readers, please email us at firstname.lastname@example.org or call Jason Darling at 415.690.5198.
About Lollyphile: Lollyphile started in San Francisco in 2008, offering Absinthe and Maple Bacon lollipops. Since then, they’ve substantially grown their flavor list, moved to Austin, Texas, and have had a lot of fun. They’re pretty cool. You should probably get to know them.
Now, that Maple Bacon one sounds appealing. (And at the very least, I actually love the Geocities shout-out.)
Previous editions of Worst Pitch of the Month: