MaxWin to supersize Windows

MaxWin to supersize Windows

Summary: Yesterday, I wrote about Microsoft’s efforts to reduce the size of the Windows kernel as part of its MinWin project. Early today I learned of a top-secret parallel development effort being run by a separate group at Microsoft. The hush-hush project is called MaxWin, and if my sources are correct you’ll see it soon. I've got details on how you get on the beta program, but hurry: the program closes at 11:50PM tonight.

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Yesterday, I wrote about Microsoft’s efforts to reduce the size of the Windows kernel as part of its MinWin project. Early today I learned of a top-secret parallel development effort being run by a separate group at Microsoft. The hush-hush project is called MaxWin, and if my sources are correct you’ll see it soon.

The idea behind MaxWin is simple. As a development lead explained to me: “You have a terabyte hard disk and 16 gigabytes of memory. We plan to use it all.”

In the MaxWin dev center, large posters remind every developer, tester, and product manager of the team’s motto: “Bigger is better.” When MaxWin is released, it will consolidate every version of Windows ever released into a single binary package, delivered in a 13–DVD boxed set. At startup, you’ll go to a home screen with 26 virtual desktops, one for every letter of the English alphabet, containing all the program icons that begin with that letter. If you click the icon for Paint (1993), for instance, MaxWin will launch Windows 3.11 in a full-screen virtual session and let you edit and save files in the popular GIF and eight-color BMP formats. “I’m living on the I desktop,” a beta tester told me. “We’re super excited about the security benefits our users will get from running Internet Explorer 2.0, which doesn’t support any malware written after 1996.”

The installation process, which takes about 24 hours using current builds, should be cut to no more than eight hours for the final release. “So, our goal is to allow a trained IT person to do a full install on one machine in one working day,” my source told me. What’s the hangup? “We have 22 years of debug code in there, and our M3.14159 milestone requires a reboot every 15 minutes during installation. We should be able to get rid of at least 25 percent of that old code before we ship and cut the number of reboots down to one or two per hour.”

If you’re interested in getting in on the beta program, Microsoft has worked out a partnership with the entire FedEx Kinko’s network in the U.S. and all of Canada except Quebec. You can pick up beta packages all day today. In anticipation of the expected high demand, most Kinko's locations will be staying open until 11:59PM tonight.

Under orders from Windows boss Steven Sinofsky, the MaxWin project will be updated on a predictable annual schedule. Updates will be available only one day per year. In a press release that someone left behind in a color photocopier at the Kinko’s on Redmond Way, Sinofsky said, “We believe the day for MaxWin has arrived, and that day is April 1.”

Topics: Software, Microsoft, Operating Systems, Windows

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14 comments
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  • At Last, Reason to Leave Windows XP!

    This is so cool. I can't wait to erase Windows XP and move to MaxWin! I only hope they will release a giant service pack next April Fool's day.

    racingmustang
    racingmustang
  • Where can I download it?

    Bwah haah hah hah
    Good one Ed!
    zmud
  • Ed, you found your niche

    nice exaggeration even if it's not so far fetched as you would think we think

    LOL :)
    jacarter3
  • You must have stock in Dell

    You KNOW Mike Cox is going to go on a hardware buying spree after reading this. ;)
    Michael Kelly
  • I'm sure this is an Aprils fool but...

    Knowing MS's obsession with bloatware (With Apple and HP discussing a nuke strike against Redmond so they can be the bloat kings) I wouldn't be a bit surpised this happens.

    This is what clinched it for me: <I>requires a reboot every 15 minutes during installation.</I> This is where MS has the crown. All hail MS! the reboot kings! [bows]

    - Kc :)
    kcredden2
  • Yeah, right!

    YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THIS CRAP???

    OBVIOUSLY MS WOULD SHIP SOMETHING LIKE THAT ON A BLU-RAY DVD!!!
    Rick_R
    • No they wouldn't...!

      Remember, Microsoft backed the now defunct HD-DVD camp... If they're gonna ship it on anything with high capacity - it'll be on an HD DVD..!
      Wolfie2K3
      • They have all those blank disks left, too (nt)

        nt
        Ed Bott
  • Perfect for Mike Cox

    nuff said
    DevGuy_z
  • RE: MaxWin to supersize Windows

    Good one made me laugh and whats better fooled my colleague up until the last paragraph. He's a little embarassed right now
    Average_Joe
  • RE: MaxWin to supersize Windows

    Lucy, I thin the jokes on you! Microsoft has been super sizing the OS for years. Tell me a good April's joke, not one based upon fact!!!
    AJW_z
  • April Fool's on You!

    MaxWin is a joke, an "April Fool's joke".
    ihfwt
  • intersting talking about those

    'old' gif files. I do ads for some online publications and we could use any only standard - gif, jpg flash, but were size and dimension limited for one particular ad - we actually managed to turn in an animated gif with 8 frames, each with text and graphics in 2/3 of the allowable space... sometimes old school just kicks ass....
    Paul Fletcher
  • WooHoo!

    Where can I sign up? I want all kind of madness on my screen! Does it also come with the Encyclopedia Microsoftica? Or will I have to call India for Technical assistance?
    lol
    gene_fitz@...