Dear Google, where the hell is my Google+ invitation?

Dear Google, where the hell is my Google+ invitation?

Summary: Google needs to show me some love with a Google+ account. There's no one more deserving than me to have one of those golden tickets. I'm your Charlie Bucket.

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TOPICS: Google
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By a show of hands, how many of you received a Google+ invitation? Well, I didn't receive one nor did anyone I know. And, I know a lot of high-profile writers, authors and various pseudo-celebrities. But, none have one. No, not one. To snub someone like myself, who is such a huge Google fan, is almost too appalling to discuss in a public forum. But, I'll try.

I should have received one of these highly valued, golden ticket invitations because, after all, I'm a writer, a book author, a podcaster and a columnist. I'm almost famous, dammit, and yet, here I am checking my GMail (oh, look at that, GMail--a Google property) account every five minutes to find my coveted invitation but I still don't have one. I've even checked my Spam folder because I know, deep down, Google couldn't have forgotten me--or worse, snubbed me.

I keep expecting that they'll realize their egregious oversight and that any minute now I'll get a Google Voice (That's me, using another Google service) message stating, apologetically, that someone inadvertently misplaced my special invitation. Apology accepted. Accepted with a caveat.

I want a Google+ invitation and I want one for all of my awesome friends too. Why else would I want one, if my friends can't be on there with me? Duh, it's social networking. Who will I network with, if my friends aren't on?

My friend list is extensive but there are a few of my notable ZDNet homeys who deserve mention in my demand for a Google+ invitation.

  • Jason Perlow - He helped me land this gig, I suppose, to remove whatever dignity is left on ZDNet after his reign of terror. He deserves one, for sure.
  • Larry Dignan - The awesome guy who runs this blog plus it never hurts to schmooze the boss.
  • Ed Bott - He's almost as cool as me plus he lives in Santa Fe, where I used to live.
  • Mary-Jo Foley - She needs one to offset the fact that she's forced to write about Microsoft.
  • David Gewirtz - He's almost as good a writer as me. He should ride my coattail for a freebie or two.
  • Steven J. Vaughan-Nichols - For having the longest name in tech and for writing about Linux.

There are a few who do not deserve Google+ invitations. If these people get them, I'll unfriend them faster than you can say, "Steven J. Vaughan-Nichols."

But, to my dear friends at Google, I really only care about me and my Google+ invitation. Who needs friends when you have a Google+ account? Trust me, I'll have friends coming out of the woodwork once I get one of those babies.
So, now, here is my official plea to Google for one of those awesome Google+ accounts.
Dear Google,
I want a Google+ account. I'm an avid Googler and have always been an early adopter of all things Google.
Please give me an account before you give them to anyone else on my list so I can gain some real street cred with my fellow ZDNetters. Come on, I really want one. And, I don't want to threaten you or anything but part of my wife's family is named, "Cleary." You know, like Ryan Cleary, the Lulz Security guy. I'm not saying that there's any connection but I'm also not saying that there isn't.
So, seriously, hand over one of those accounts so I can gloat, er, I mean share the experience with all of my friends.
Yours,
Ken

Topic: Google

About

Kenneth 'Ken' Hess is a full-time Windows and Linux system administrator with 20 years of experience with Mac, Linux, UNIX, and Windows systems in large multi-data center environments.

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50 comments
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  • Message has been deleted.

    TerryNorton
    • RE: Dear Google, where the hell is my Google invitation?

      @TerryNorton Though I sort of understand your "...column for public request..." comment, however, let us not forget this is a blog - not truly a column. (And, please correct me if I'm wrong), the whole point of blogging is to publicly air one's opinions,comments (er..whines).
      jgy3183
    • RE: Dear Google, where the hell is my Google invitation?

      @TerryNorton

      I do this kind of thing all the time.
      khess
  • Message has been deleted.

    centurions83
  • RE: Dear Google, where the hell is my Google invitation?

    You know, Ken, I was going to give you one, but then you didn't even mention me in your column.

    Signed,
    Chopped Liver
    slfisher@...
  • If I get one

    you can have it. I'm doing my best to avoid accepting any + invites. Don't need yet another Facebook in my life. One is one too many. MJ
    Mary Jo Foley
    • RE: Dear Google, where the hell is my Google invitation?

      @Mary Jo Foley

      Is Ken right that you are "FORCED" to write about Microsoft. Why is there such hate from some of these Bloggers?
      bobiroc
      • Forced?

        NO. I think he thinks he is being funny ;)
        I write about MS because I find the company endlessly entertaining and interesting. I've been doing it for decades and it's still a great gig. I don't always agree with MS, but I do find their strategy and escapades fascinating. MJ
        Mary Jo Foley
      • RE: Forced?

        @Mary Jo Foley

        I can't think of a tech company I always agree with either. MS has had their blunders, dumb decisions, and ball dropping like any company and maybe I mistook Ken's blog as I do not know of his writing style. If I did then I apologize for my commentary about hate but there are some bloggers on here that make their hate for anything they do not like quite apparent and will go to great lengths to make stuff up or assume the worst of that company while defending the blunders and ball dropping of a company that they love. I rather call them all out for the good and bad regardless who the are.
        bobiroc
  • RE: Dear Google, where the hell is my Google invitation?

    I want one too! - if only to check it out... doubt it would replace my Facebook account but perhaps it could add provide some better services?
    jgy3183
    • RE: Dear Google, where the hell is my Google invitation?

      @jgy3183 <br><br>Hmmm...Now I've finally got one, I have hardly used it!<br>have you found you use it more than FB?<br><br><b><a href="http://facialexercisecentral.com">Facial exercise to look younger</a></b>
      lizziel
  • Maybe because you're such an avid Googler you won't get one

    I would gues they want an [b]honest[/b] opinion on whether it works or not.

    If they just wanted kiss-ass feedback, they'd be asking their employees if it's good or not. :)
    Will Pharaoh
  • Message has been deleted.

    bobiroc
  • RE: Dear Google, where the hell is my Google invitation?

    That. Was awesome.

    Edit:
    Ken, I think some of the other commenters missed your tongue-in-cheek humor...
    Kangaruhs
    • RE: Dear Google, where the hell is my Google invitation?

      @Kangaruhs

      They always do.
      khess
    • RE: Dear Google, where the hell is my Google invitation?

      @Kangaruhs The fact that he was kidding is irrelevant. He still sounds like an ass. For humor like this to work it needs one key element - it has to be funny.
      mbonheim
      • RE: Dear Google, where the hell is my Google invitation?

        @mbonheim Huh, I must be easy--I thought it was pretty funny...
        n6mac41717
      • RE: Dear Google, where the hell is my Google invitation?

        @mbonheim

        I guess I missed the humor too. Came off like a Google Fanboy insulting everything but google. I guess with some of the other bloggers on ZDNet acting that way all the time with their favorite company it was safe to assume that he was like them. I will refrain from mentioning names but I am sure some of you can guess who the worst offenders are.
        bobiroc
      • RE: Dear Google, where the hell is my Google invitation?

        @mbonheim I'm personally an Apple guy, but I found the blog to be very funny.
        Yuniverse
    • ZDNet is not a place for funny

      This r srs bsness.

      :|

      :P
      Michael Alan Goff