Monkeys throwing bananas...and other great lines from the Troll culture

Monkeys throwing bananas...and other great lines from the Troll culture

Summary: Trolls are anonymous people that take the time to write abusive jibberish in comment sections and in online forums.But there are literary giants among the trolls, and they peak through the online chatter now and again.

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TOPICS: Hardware
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Trolls are anonymous people that take the time to write abusive jibberish in comment sections and in online forums.

But there are literary giants among the trolls, and they peak through the online chatter now and again.

"Monkeys throwing bananas at keyboard could have written a better post," is one of my favorites, from a comment left on my other blog Silicon Valley Watcher.

I've used a variation of this when writing about why ads on Facebook are so bad "the contextual algorithm seems to have been written by monkeys throwing bananas at a keyboard."

Has anybody else come across any great Troll comments?

Topic: Hardware

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11 comments
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  • Coxisms

    [url=http://talkback.zdnet.com/5208-12558-0.html?forumID=1&threadID=45152&messageID=834512&start=-9961]Typical Coxism[/url]

    Gets me through the day with a 'chuckle'.
    D T Schmitz
  • Like Beethoven at the keyboard <nt>

    .
    mark@...
  • Microsoft <nt>

    .
    mark@...
  • What do you call ...

    ... a MAC portable user?

    An AIRhead.

    Didn't amuse the MAC community ... and I'm not ananymous so I guess you'll have to disqualify it ;-)
    jacksonjohn
    • It's not an acronym...

      It's Mac, not MAC. It's not an acronym, it's a truncation of
      Macintosh.
      WarhavenSC
  • My best was ...

    ... a fix for the EXCEL 2007 100K bug.

    See http://talkback.zdnet.com/5208-12554-0.html?forumID=1&threadID=39090&messageID=718327&start=0

    Incidentally the ZDNET search facility is pathetic. I found this post in 1 on Google but still cannot locate it via a ZDNET search.
    jacksonjohn
  • My worst was ...

    ... complaining to Ed Bott that:

    1. DELL providing a BIOS which trashed the PC.
    2. M$ providing a product which even an expert of 25 years experience could not get working in less than two weeks without a fix he found in some obscure place on the net.
    3. Looking at pretty pictures on a 50" plasma screen as a measure of operating system quality.

    Did not qualify in my troll book for a WOW ...
    ... earned me a -1 from his wife. It's real hard being a troll of ZDNET.
    jacksonjohn
  • I also liked ...

    ... my series of images for the VISTA CAPABLE saga. Some real beauties there:

    1. Bill Gates asking Mike Nash to "repeat after me, VISTA CAPABLE means LACKING KEY FEATURES".

    2. Image of an Etch-a-Sketch displaying "My other PC has graphics too, but not AERO".

    3. Einstein writing out the equation: VISTA = AERO - 1.

    4. A view of the front of the FBI building with a big banner draped bearing the single word: inVISTAgated. Thought you yanks would really go for that ;-(

    5. Another I thought you'd like was a picture of President Bush on the front of TIME magazine claiming "My PC is VISTA CAPABLE!".

    6. And what about Homer saying "Vista Capable means I can run AERO, yes? DOH!".

    Neither Long Zheng nor Mary Jo, despite their love of graphics, thought them worth the time of day. That's how I know I'm a troll, otherwise I'd think I was just an ordinary end-user with critical faculties who objected to being ripped-off.
    jacksonjohn
  • Just reada NonZealot post here on ZDNet :P

    Half his post are all trolling post. No_Axe_to_Grind has had a fair number of trolling post as well :P
    Stuka
    • One i loved

      "Just because you have lots of girlfriends doesn't make you a better person"
      theoxygenthief
  • RE: Monkeys throwing bananas...and other great lines from the Troll culture

    Thanks for the lines but I guess there aren't too many good ones out there... Maybe I shouldn't be surprised :-)
    foremski