Sunday News Watch: GigaOm sues hard drive makers; Scoble drops Twitter; Carr says IT matters; Edelman fakes own blog; O'Reilly 2.0; IBM's 300; 3Com buys Cisco unit; Fiorina coming back?

Sunday News Watch: GigaOm sues hard drive makers; Scoble drops Twitter; Carr says IT matters; Edelman fakes own blog; O'Reilly 2.0; IBM's 300; 3Com buys Cisco unit; Fiorina coming back?

Summary: Om Malik sends out cease and desist warnings. Don't Giga anything if you know what's good for you.

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TOPICS: SAP
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Om Malik sends out cease and desist warnings. Don't Giga anything if you know what's good for you. "Steve Jobs is my hero, and the other night, when I was thinking about Steve, I thought, yes, I should sue too... Steve is an incredibly inspiration," said Mr Malik.

Dave Winer admits RSS not his idea... "Er, ... Yahoo came up with it... I thought cool...I'll go with that."

TechMeme secret algorithm revealed by Silicon Valley Watcher- 60 people in Pune, India put it together for $25 per day. "I"ll have the algorithm ready soon, and then I'll save $25 per day," said Gabe Rivera, TechMeme founder.

New York Times builds $800m skyscraper: "We will rule," says Bill Keller, Editor in Chief of The New York Times. "Jeff Jarvis will man the elevator."

Google News will carry AdLinks of quoted news sites: "Do no evil is fine if you are Sergey, but let's do some good," says Eric Schmidt, demonstrating leadership at the GOOGplex.

Nick Carr admits that IT really does matter. "I was just looking for link love and it was so easy!" he said.

John Battelle says Tim O'Reilly stole his idea for Web 2.0. "Tim is so 1.5... I had to clue him in six years ago. Now he is suing everyone, even I can't say two point oh without his lawyers calling... (you didn't hear me say that, okay?)"

Robert Scoble is giving up Twitter. "I'm going to be changing diapers very soon, and I'd like to spare my Twitter neighborhood the messy details....NOT!" Mr Scoble said that even the first meconium diaper will be Twittered--sign up now or watch the Scoble Show.

Richard Edelman says he doesn't write his blog. "I run the world's largest private PR firm, why would I write it when I've got people to do it, such as Rubel." said Mr Edelman. "BTW, Wal-Mart was Rubel's idea."

Tom Foremski admits that New Media Release was a ruse to help him go home early. "I figured the PR industry should be producing something that was useful to me, and they listened!"

Paul Abrahams, head of Waggener Edstrom in Europe, says he will be proved right. "I stand by my point of view, which I'm entitled to do: Blogging is like CB radio, and where is CB radio today...?"

Carlyle Group leads $180bn private equity takeover of IBM. Lou Gerstner, Carlisle Group Director is the mastermind. "It's time to break up Big Blue," he said.

John Doerr goes 1000 percent carbon neutral. "I've bought $1 gazillion of carbon offsets. That makes me, and my family, and my ancestors going back two millennia, completely carbon neutral! Let's see if Vinod can match that!"

Scott McNealy is coming back to Sun. "Everyone is right, Jon Schwartz just doesn't do it for anyone....  I'm calling up Zander too, and Schmidt... it'll be like the Beatles getting back together, and I'm John... except I'm still alive. Zander can be Paul... Schmidt can be George. Who wants to be Ringo? Gage?"

Cisco sells network equipment business to 3Com for $50m: "We're a media company now!" says chief strategist Dan Scheinman. Wall Street downgrades Cisco.

IBM's 300 swallow poison pill to thwart Carlyle takeover: "Let's see if Gerstner can handle this!" said Sam Palmisano. CEO of IBM  as he and 299 Leadership  IBMers drink the kool aid.

Carly Fiorina met with HP board: Sources say they want her back. "Hurd is an absolute disaster!" said a board member.

Larry Ellison strafes SAP: "I couldn't help myself," said a slightly distraught, Larry Ellison, head of Oracle, a competitor to SAP in the enterprise software applications market. "As I flew over the SAP research facility in my Italian fighter jet I was overwhelmed with emotion and accidentally machine gunned the campus." Silicon Valley police said Mr Ellison was released with a caution.

Chris Pirillo admits to cloning: "Yes, it is true, no single person could be everywhere...I couldn't resist this Canadian team of visionaries, and now there are at least 5 Pirillos, one of them might be at a Peet's Coffee near you right now! There is a sixth Pirillo but we've lost touch with him, nothing to worry about... Just don't invite him home with you."

Mike Arrington steals April Fools joke from Nick Denton: "Nobody reads ValleyWag, he should go back to  New York City, or stay here as my muse," said Mr Arrington.

Topic: SAP

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  • Sorry. Not funny. Not even close.

    if you can't be funny, stay outta the game.
    rad1956
    • Sorry...

      ...I should have posted a warning, a sense of humor must be provided by the reader.
      foremski