On the occasion of my hairy cow being able to fly...where is WoW for the iPad? Oh, and Green Bay sucks!

On the occasion of my hairy cow being able to fly...where is WoW for the iPad? Oh, and Green Bay sucks!

Summary: What I want to do is sit on the couch, have the game on the big screen, and play WoW on my iPad.

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TOPICS: iPad, Mobility
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There's 3:34 to go in the first quarter and Green Bay is just simply obliterating Pittsburgh with a 14-0 lead.

For the record, Green Bay was originally named after La Baie des Puants -- French for "the stinking Bay" (thanks, Wikipedia!) -- and that's name seems all the more appropriate today.

As an official, card-carrying member of the Steeler Nation (I grew up in New Jersey, and we consider Pennsie to be a suburb), I just can't watch anymore. I also can't write about serious government topics while Pittsburgh is going down in flames, so ... this article.

Instead, with the game torturing me from the background, I decided it was time to fire up World of Warcraft and see if I could get my Tauren Druid to finally pop level 60.

I truly enjoy World of Warcraft, but I don't have nearly as much time to play as most people. My wife and I play together, and I do have another toon that's a level 72 (her's is a level 73!).

But, even though the Tauren (which looks like a cow) was created as far back as 2004 (right as WoW released), it's never broken level 60. In fact, my cow stayed in the 40s for almost three years, stuck, marooned and unloved, in Stranglethorn Vale for most of that time.

To WoW players, level 60 is important, because it means your character gets the ability to fly. With the release of the new expansion pack, Cataclysm, the ability to fly becomes even more wonderful, because you can now fly on all the islands, even the first -- Eastern Kingdoms and Kalimdor.

Technical issues about adding flight

Tech note: When Blizzard released it's first expansion pack, The Burning Crusade, they added flight as a character ability. As you might imagine, flight added some interesting issues, like they had to make sure any items above head-height actually had tops to them. So Blizzard opened a new area, Outland, that was designed with flight in mind.

The old areas were not designed with flight in mind, and so Blizzard didn't enable flight in those regions. If they had, you'd fly over certain areas and see emptiness and clipping problems. So, no flight.

But with Cataclysm, they redid all all their maps and made flight more useful everywhere. Cataclysm also made it much easier for casual (read: busy) players to level up, so I had a chance to finally get my Tauren up to level 60 -- and tonight was the night.

He's been sitting at 59 for a few weeks, and rather than watch those Green Bay cheaters continue to spank my "Stillers," I figured it was time to give my cow the bird, literally. When a Druid gets the flight ability, it not only gets the ability to ride a flying mount, it can turn into a bird itself. Very cool.

But then, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that Pitt just scored a field goal. I would dance, but I don't dance. Ever. It's a rule.

Now I'm conflicted.

I want to watch the game, but I still can't really look. Too disturbing.

What I want to do is sit on the couch, have the game on the big screen, and play WoW on my iPad. After all, the iPad has to be useful for something other than checking IMDB listings, right? Right?

And then it hit me. The iPad needs WoW. In fact, the iPad would be perfect for WoW. You could tap the little buttons on the bottom of the screen, tilt to walk forward, drag your finger to move your toon, and otherwise quest along, all from the smudged and filthy screen on your iPad.

You might think that WoW would be a challenge, performance-wise, for the iPad. But since WoW's graphics capabilities can, essentially, be downgraded to 2004 levels, the iPad should be able to stand a good chance, especially at its comparatively low screen resolution, of keeping up with WoW's technical demands.

Why WoW and iPad need each other

WoW also needs the iPad. After all, the Cataclysm expansion is the fastest-selling video game in PC history. So, in order to keep up its quest for world domination, Blizzard needs to tap a new market. That market should be the iPad.

Likewise, the iPad needs WoW. While some of you out there claim you actually use your iPads, my experience is that once you're done checking IMDB and playing Angry Birds, the iPad is essentially a very expensive sushi tray. What the iPad needs is something actually fun to do with it -- and WoW would be that something.

Together, the iPad and World of Warcraft could be a sales juggenaut of juggernautian dimensions. Write your Congress-critters and demand Blizzard port WoW to the iPad.

See, there's your government reference, albeit, rather an inane one. What can I say? It's hard to pay attention. Those bastards from Wisconsin are up 21 to The Pitt's 10 and it's halftime.

There's still time for Pittsburgh to come from behind (why does that sound so wrong?), and time for us to drop a nuke on Wisconsin. It's so cold up there, they won't notice it anyway and we'll never have to put up with another "stinky" Wisconsinite.

So my cow hit 60 and got its bird form. Pittsburgh is still losing. You win some. You lose some. We'd all win some if Blizzard ported WoW to the iPad.

That's it. Back to the game. I wonder who'll actually win. Okay, there's hope. Steelers are coming back, 21 to 17. Hang in there, guys!

For the record, the President is apparently watching the game and not -- I imagine to his wife's dismay given her interest in anti-obesity programs -- his weight. The menu includes: bratwurst, kielbasa, cheeseburgers, deep-dish pizza and Buffalo wings with sides of German potato salad, twice-baked potatoes and assorted chips and dips. On the other hand, the President can handle putting on a few pounds. The rest of us, well it just goes straight to my... but that's a story for another day!

Ah, darn. Packers win. Oh, well, there's always next year. Maybe, by then, WoW will be on the iPad and I won't have to watch the game, cringing with each lost pass.

Happy Superbowl, everyone!

Topics: iPad, Mobility

About

David Gewirtz, Distinguished Lecturer at CBS Interactive, is an author, U.S. policy advisor, and computer scientist. He is featured in the History Channel special The President's Book of Secrets and is a member of the National Press Club.

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15 comments
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  • RE: On the occasion of my hairy cow being able to fly...where is WoW for the iPad? Oh, and Green Bay sucks!

    WoW 's Install on my PC is closing in on 30GB .... why not have Blizzard come out with the iWoW
    JoseTorr
    • RE: On the occasion of my hairy cow being able to fly...where is WoW for the iPad? Oh, and Green Bay sucks!

      @JoseTorr

      Heh, mine's 32.9GB, but that's with six years of updates. I'm sure it's possible to have a more streamlined version, although it'd still probably take up half your iPad!
      David Gewirtz
  • Writing Congress won't work. You need to write Parliament.

    Blizzard is a Canadian company.

    Real American gamers play City of Heroes, where the proceeds of their monthly addiction pay for American coders and American content creators, run in American servers.

    (grin)

    And -

    Steelers Fans:

    Your team played brilliantly. You made no overt mistakes, aside from the Mendenhall stripped fumble - and even that was a "Wow, I can't believe they got that..."

    You were in it until the very end.

    The Green Bay Packers got incredibly lucky. We got a couple of breaks right when we needed it, but we couldn't stop your running game, we couldn't get pressure on Ben.

    You guys were tough, and I think that this game, if played over, would split 7/3 Steelers.

    Well played. If we hadn't gotten those breaks, I'd've been congratulating you on your well deserved victory.
    Ad Astra
    • RE: On the occasion of my hairy cow being able to fly...where is WoW for the iPad? Oh, and Green Bay sucks!

      @Ad Astra
      > Real American gamers play City of Heroes

      Agreed. But you wouldn't want to see me in tights. I wouldn't wish that therapy-inducing vision on my worst enemy!
      David Gewirtz
  • RE: On the occasion of my hairy cow being able to fly...where is WoW for the iPad? Oh, and Green Bay sucks!

    Save yourself $600 and either move the tv or move your computer. Problem solved and no iPad needed.
    Loverock Davidson
  • RE: On the occasion of my hairy cow being able to fly...where is WoW for the iPad? Oh, and Green Bay sucks!

    Whats with the obsession on WoW? And for the record Green Bay doesnt suck. They played better than the Steelers, and deserved to win. The uncharacteristic play of the Steelers shocked me last night, and as hard as it is for me to say this. The Steelers did not deserve to win, though the did almost overcome some sloppy play. Figure they almost came back from being 18 points down. Which has never been done before in the
    history of the Superbowl.
    Rick_K
  • RE: On the occasion of my hairy cow being able to fly...where is WoW for the iPad? Oh, and Green Bay sucks!

    [Quote] ?my experience is that once your done checking IMDB and playing Angry Birds? [/Quote]

    *you're

    Seriously: you write for a website whose main purpose is tech news reporting. That means, even if you're "just" a blogger, that you're a tech writer. Learn the difference between your and you're. It's important.
    Oneota
    • RE: On the occasion of my hairy cow being able to fly...where is WoW for the iPad? Oh, and Green Bay sucks!

      @Oneota

      Thanx. Fickst.
      David Gewirtz
  • I'll help you out, David, and soon you'll play WoW on your wife's iPad

    Trust me, its possible and for two dollars, you can play WoW and watch all the Flash Hulu videos your heart desires.

    Do an internet search on the phrase, "laptop CES 2011 Android app/software", and you will discover a rather remarkable app. (If you get this far, congratulate yourself on getting past level 1, grin) Of course, this app can be downloaded on the iTunes app store as well as at the Android Marketplace.

    This app works like a VPN client but isn't. It also provides for real time audio streaming as well.

    Since you will be able to leverage the power of your desktop PC where, I assume, your WoW files are stored, you can play WoW and have it displayed on your iPad screen at full speed and full iPad resolution. The iPad screen will give you full multi touch control. (Actually, on my home system, I also use a magic trackpad as an additional multi touch cursor control when I'm sitting on my favorite lazy boy chair in front of the home HDTV.)

    With my Apple system, I get perfect audio synch with the streamed desktop image but I have noticed that when when I have tried this app with a host Win 7 system (a state of the art system, btw, the sound was absent. A quick check of the app website indicated that Win 7 systems equipped with nVidia chipsets might have a problem with sound. Or it could be just Windows systems in general since my MacBook uses nVidia chip sets and I have not experienced any audio problems.)

    Check it out.
    kenosha77a
  • RE: On the occasion of my hairy cow being able to fly...where is WoW for the iPad? Oh, and Green Bay sucks!

    While that would be a very cool idea, I simply cannot wrap my head around how that would be accomplished. First major issue -- control. Typically driven with keyboard and mouse, and tons of actions and macros assigned to differnt keys and combinations, that'd be really tough to do well. You could set it up as a basic 'clicker' control, it'd be tough to do movement and actions at the same time. You could get along, but only with the most basic of tasks. Raiding, PvP, even dungeons would be extremely difficult. You'd almost be required to have some sort of external input, and if you're going to go that far, might as well just use a laptop.

    The install could likely be trimmed down, but it'd still eat up a ton of space. And that's not counting later patches or expansions.

    The other big obtacle would be the low RAM on the iPad. While graphics and processing power aren't a big deal for WoW, RAM is. The woefully low amount on the iPad would mean that entering any major city would slow your experience to a crawl.

    Honestly, just use a laptop. Watch the game and play at the same time. Used to do it all the time before I kicked the addiction last year.
    DarkGuardian
    • RE: On the occasion of my hairy cow being able to fly...where is WoW for the iPad? Oh, and Green Bay sucks!

      @DarkGuardian Agreed- When I played WoW, I had 50+ keybinds for casting and macros (via an N52).
      Gritztastic
  • RE: On the occasion of my hairy cow being able to fly...where is WoW for the iPad? Oh, and Green Bay sucks!

    As someone finishing off the last of my 6 level 85 toons, I msut admit I have no desire to use an iBrick for playing and the reasons should be self-explanatory.

    I currently play at 1920x1080 on a 24" screen. 1024x768 on a small iPad screen just doesn't cut it.

    Most of my toons have at least 20-30 icons visible for spells etc - a little hard to fit on the iPad.

    Most importantly, I need to see the screen, not my hand and I need precision, not fingerpainting.

    I think I'm beginning to see why you still have a toon at 60 ;-) At least you get a point for choosing Horde ;-)
    tonymcs@...
    • RE: On the occasion of my hairy cow being able to fly...where is WoW for the iPad? Oh, and Green Bay sucks!

      @tonymcs@...
      i have 36 app icons on my OS X dock and, although they are rather tiny on my iPad screen, they can be used with a finger tap. Of course, one can always enlarge the screen display with a pinch and zoom action.
      kenosha77a
  • Oh Yeah, WoW On The iPad....Lovely

    I don't know how you can play a game with the most outlandlishly lame graphics ever put into an MMO...a cow race? Yeah, ok..let's all run down to the Bluebell temple to worship the golden udder.

    I used to play EQ and EQ2, at least the graphics on that game gave you the impression of playing in a realistic fantasy world, WoW looks like something spat out of bad dream.
    Ron Burgundy
  • RE: On the occasion of my hairy cow being able to fly...where is WoW for the iPad? Oh, and Green Bay sucks!

    A sushi tray, that has to be what all of the 5 or so people that actually purchased the iPad for. The rest of the sales of the iPads go to businesses that hope to sell their software or services by giving away iPads. Maybe those business savy CxOs purchasing them thinking that they might be productive on these barely functioning devices that attempt to be "tablets" of which of course they are not functional or a Tablet PC. Looking forward to the day that Apple closes it doors because people finally stopped drinking Apple's Kool-Aid because they realized that freedom is better than Apple domination.
    jfreedle2@...