Hey genius, they want you.

Hey genius, they want you.

Summary: Microsoft are probably the biggest and most influential software company in the world. I know, I don't like it much either but it hasn't done bad now, let's admit.

SHARE:
11

Whatever the hell this thing is, it seriously freaked me out.Microsoft are probably the biggest and most influential software company in the world. I know, I don't like it much either but it hasn't done bad now, let's admit. Whilst trawling the student pages of Microsoft, I came across another patronising, fake esteem building, crap student oriented promotion, essentially advertising the fact that Microsoft want you, rather the other way round.

You'll hate the music, or at least if you don't, you'll have Vietnam style flashbacks to when you were younger and your older sibling snatched away your Super Nintendo Entertainment System (SNES) as you were transfixed by the blocky-graphics of Super Mario (which at that age, you thought nothing could ever beat it).

Essentially the point of this appalling Flash "mind invasion" is to immerse you into the world of getting a job at Microsoft. There's a forum you can join in and talk to other geeks, a College Code Challenge on its way soon, and a lounge where you can spend your time working away on some of the simplest logic games I've ever seen. I mean honestly, my nearly-5-year-old goddaughter could do them had she worked out how to use a mouse properly.

However I do wish to stress, not all jobs at Microsoft are geeky and involve sitting in front of a screen all day, drinking 2 litre bottles of Diet Coke, in a room with no fresh air and one single window, but the blinds are shut because you're scared of daylight. Oh no - you can have all that still, and not be stuck behind a desk tippity typing away some useless code for another useless product they'll throw at you - (more on Live@edu another time I'm sure). There's marketing jobs, sales, technical, user experience stuff (which would be way up Long's street) and human resources of course.

Remember, in any organisation, the CEO is powerless over the administrative staff. I will tell you again and again, in any job - make friends with the HR people, keep on the good side of the financials, and for God's sakes don't piss off any of the marketing staff, because it's them who run the company, not the bosses. Trust me on that one.

On a separate note, I was considering heading to Seattle to see some friends of mine next month, however only found out today that I can't even drink over there as I'm not old enough (3 months off being 20 by the way). Pfft, it escapes me how I can go to a country and be old enough to buy a gun but not a pint of Guinness. MJ, looks like I'm buying rounds when you head over to London on your book tour later this year.

Topics: Microsoft, CXO, IT Employment

Kick off your day with ZDNet's daily email newsletter. It's the freshest tech news and opinion, served hot. Get it.

Talkback

11 comments
Log in or register to join the discussion
  • wow

    You definitely deserve a hug after that blog
    TGGR
  • Great post Zack, you are starting to come into your own.

    You have me laughing. Them there "Americans" are pretty strange.
    DonnieBoy
  • Was that supposed to be a blog? <nt>

    <i></i>
    xuniL_z
  • RE: Hey genius, they want you.

    Haha! If it helps, I was never employed by Microsoft, but I certainly worked with them on a few things a couple of years ago. So I can see how he feels - but then again there's nothing stopping him from reading this blog anyway.

    (...and rock star? No thanks, I can't sing!) :-)
    zwhittaker
    • Microsoft Studnet Experience??

      You know, not that I'm anti-Microsoft but the Microsoft Student website does less to help students and more to advertise their products!
      Imran Hussain
  • RE: Hey genius

    You can't buy a gun here either unless you are a citizen or have a "green card" and meet certain residency requirements, and pass an NCIS background check. Other states may have even more requirements.

    OTOH there are no shortage of criminals here who'll gladly sell you, booze, dope, or stolen guns. Bet its the same over there too.
    wkulecz
    • RE: Hey genius

      Well, I held for about a year British national security clearance (2nd from the top) but that probably wouldn't have any effect considering it's (i) expired and (ii) it doesn't count in the US anyway.

      Yeh same over here, but obviously the gun issue is almost negligible considering they're very illegal, and you'd be surprised as to how difficult it actually is to get one, let alone a firearms licence.

      But still - after a 14 hour flight, all I'll want is a cigarette and a pint of the black stuff :-)
      zwhittaker
  • About the CEO and all that

    Nice article, apart from this one thing, which irks me a bit:

    "Remember, in any organisation, the CEO is powerless over the administrative staff. I will tell you again and again, in any job - make friends with the HR people, keep on the good side of the financials, and for God???s sakes don???t piss off any of the marketing staff, because it???s them who run the company, not the bosses. Trust me on that one."

    You're 19 and a student. Why should we "trust you on that one" concerning CEO's and HR/financials/marketing people? That's a bold statement to make, even if you would have decades of experience as an employee.

    Greeting, Pjotr.
    pjotr123
    • RE: About the CEO and all that

      I apologise - I should have explained this one.
      Granted I'm only 19 but I've got experience within Microsoft and the UK civil service - so even through my short years of life, I've still knocked up quite a bit of work experience and it really is the HR and marketing which run companies :-)

      See my bio - http://blogs.zdnet.com/bio.php?id=whittaker - it explains that I'm still young but I've still clocked up a good few years of good work.

      Thanks for reading, and even more thanks for pointing this one out to me :-)
      zwhittaker
    • I'll half agree

      I'll half agree with pjotr and half with Zack on that one, he is right that those individuals (along with some left out) "run" the company, obviously. It's not like the CEO could run a large corporation by himself. But the CEO's word is god (with some exceptions) and he decides the overall direction of the company, running it in the way he is supposed to.

      With that said, what was up with that paragraph anyways? It seemed pointless and came out of nowhere.
      @...
  • It hasn???t done bad now, let???s admit....

    Have you had an opportunity to look at the MSFT stock
    price in the last five years?

    MSFT is one of the larger shareholder value destruction
    companies.

    The reign of Ballmer will be remembered as a
    shareholder disaster. MSFT closed out trading
    yesterday more than 16% below its share value of five
    years ago.

    MSFT is, from a shareholder value standpoint, simply a
    disaster.
    Jeremy W