GMail Autopilot: If Only.

Sick of responding to every single email? Today Google announced its new Gmail Autopilot feature, which uses advanced CADIE technology, brought to you from the folks who gave you ELIZA.

Google may be pulling a fast one on us, but this is a feature I would actually USE. For example, every time I get an email from my father-in law asking for computer support, I'd like a heuristic algorithm to respond with the correct URLs or information he needs to help himself, or simply "Ask your daughter! What am I, your personal consulting firm?". Or whenever I get an email from a PR agency asking me to review a product or pitch an article concept, it will respond with either "Yes, send me more electronic toys to play with" or "No, I do not want a chocolate Chihuahua" or "if the review product is being drop shipped from China, have it sent to you and make sure it at least powers up before you send it to me!"

FaceBook should take a page from Google Autopilot as well with a "FakeBook" feature. I have over 650 friends on FaceBook and I don't really have time to participate in every group, cause, fan page, or respond to every quiz request or accept every gift. Can't my FaceBook account run on autopilot for all this stupid stuff? Like auto-poke my friends to let them think I'm actually thinking about them, or auto-gift people? Auto-accept all the application add requests without actually adding them? The possibilities are endless.

Got a real need for GMail Autopilot? Talk Back and Let Me Know.

PS - it's April Fool's Day. There may be no truth whatsoever in this story.