Tech Broiler

Jason Perlow and Scott Raymond

When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat

By | August 23, 2009, 9:15am PDT

Summary: SPAM is Luncheon Meat. “spam” or “Spam” is unsolicited bulk marketing emails. Got it?

SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAMMITY SPAM! WONDERFUL SPAM! (Photo by Jason Perlow)

About a week ago I wrote an post about why I felt the United States Postal Service (USPS) needed a complete overhaul on how it handled bulk marketing materials — aka junk mail. In it I referred to junk mail as “Physical SPAM”, to make an analogy to many of the unwanted unsolicited emails that we all receive every day which slips through even the best of electronic filtering systems.

Click on the “Read the rest of this entry” link below for more.

Well, a few days ago, I received the following communication from the Hormel Foods company:

I was somewhat taken aback by this. I mean, didn’t everyone use the word SPAM? In full capitalization? Well, if all Hormel was asking for was to change the word to lower caps, I guess it wasn’t unreasonable to comply with their request. It didn’t seem like a big deal. So I did it.

However, I think it begs the greater question of why do we call bulk unsolicited emails “spam” in the first place? And why should we continue to do this? For those of you not old enough to remember, it all started with a television segment by the British comedy troupe Monty Python, broadcast in 1970:

The use of the word “Spam” to describe unsolicited bulk electronic messages actually pre-dates the Internet, on 1980s Bulletin Board Systems (BBS), when obnoxious posters familiar with the Python sketch would append the words SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM ad nauseum to the end of a message in order to slow down the reading of the messages on the system. In the early 80’s these BBS systems used dial-in analog telephone modems that transmitted at 300-1200bps (bits per second, extremely slow compared to today’s multi-megabit-range standards) so watching “SPAM SPAM SPAM” scroll across the screen a few hundred times and actually seeing each character spit out in a seemingly never-ending uninterrupted scroll was extremely annoying.

Back then, many bulletin board systems and early Personal Computers (such as the Radio Shack TRS-80 and the Apple ][) and teletype systems prior to ROM updates that permitted the use of lowercase used character sets with ALLCAPS, so THERE WAS NO OPTION OF USING LOWER CASE VERSIONS OF THE WORD “SPAM”. Years later, “Spam” is now meant to describe any unwanted electronic communication of a commercial or nefarious nature (such as advance-fee 419s fraud schemes sent from Nigeria and other countries) sent in bulk.

Now, I’m not a fan of the SPAM product. But there are certainly a lot of people who are, particularly the entire State of Hawaii, which just trailing the US territory of Guam, consumes more SPAM than any place in the entire world, over 13 cans per per person per year. In fact, they have an entire dish created to use the product, SPAM Musubi, and there are variants of the very tasty dish Loco Moco served throughout the islands which include a slice of SPAM in it. In Hawaii, Guam and Saipan, McDonalds and Burger King both serve SPAM on their menus. It is hugely popular in Okinawa, Japan, Korea as well as in the Philippines and other Pacific island nations. And if you believe the sketch, Great Britain.

I can certainly understand why Hormel would not want to mar its reputation by associating itself with unwanted email messages. I mean let’s face it, we all hate Spam, and while my own culinary tastes do not include the SPAM gelatinous processed pork product, I do like many of Hormel’s products, particularly their high-end Dilusso line, which includes their very good Genoa Salami, perhaps one of the best in the entire industry, and is a core component of any well-made Italian Sub.  Dilusso Pepperoni is also one of the best-made in the entire business and I can’t think of any other that I’d rather have to adorn my pizza.

After all these years, I think that Hormel deserves a break. Maybe we need a new word for Bulk Unsolicited Email Messages. Like “BUEM” or USIMI (Unsolicited Shit In My Inbox). Or even e-Junk or e-Crud.

What say you? Can we give Hormel a break? Can we find a new word for Spam? Talk Back and Let Me Know.

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Topics

Jason Perlow, Sr. Technology Editor at ZDNet, is a technologist with over two decades of experience integrating large heterogeneous multi-vendor computing environments in Fortune 500 companies.

Disclosure

Jason Perlow

My Full-Time Employer is IBM. I write as a freelancer for ZDNet.

Disclaimer: The postings and opinions on this blog are my own and don't necessarily represent IBM's positions, strategies or opinions.

I own no investments or direct financial instruments in the companies I write about.

Biography

Jason Perlow

Jason Perlow, Sr. Technology Editor at ZDNet is a technologist with over two decades of experience with integrating large heterogeneous multi-vendor computing environments in Fortune 500 companies. A long-time computer enthusiast starting the age of 13 with his first Apple ][ personal computer, he began his freelance writing career starting at ZD Sm@rt Reseller in 1996 and has since authored numerous guest columns for ZDNet Enterprise and Ziff-Davis Internet. Jason was previously Senior Technology Editor for Linux Magazine, where he wrote about Open Source issues from 1999 to 2008.

In his spare time, Jason is an avid amateur chef and food writer, where his work reviewing New Jersey restaurants has appeared in The New York Times. He is also the founder of the popular food web site eGullet and blogs about restaurants and cooking at OffTheBroiler.com.

193
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How about BUM-essages? (NT)
soapymac@... 9th Sep 2009
.
0 Votes
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My Hovercraft is full of eels
DannyO_0x98 23rd Aug 2009
No, sorry, that was a mistranslation. I meant to say I liked spam as a kid.
As an adult (older than you) the thought of canned meat isn't particularly
appealing.

Green eggs and ham were always out.
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My Vote
DannyO_0x98 23rd Aug 2009
I say we keep using the term "spam" in the way we understand it.
Trademarks only have scope within the market segment the company is
trading in.

Any way, we are still free to own the language and might as well make
hay while the sun shine or spam while the processor compresses.

0 Votes
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It's a shame
Mihi Nomen Est 24th Aug 2009

I vote we have articles which couldn't have been written in the early 90s.

It reads like someone who has been living in an Amish community for the previous twenty years, left, and found there's been a lot of things which have occurred and they're going to start writing articles from that time period.

I expect to see a piece on how the Internet is made up of tubes any time now.

On the other hand, he might have temporarily turned his duties over to a Summer Intern and has flown to an island (to be named later).
0 Votes
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Oh, okay, already!
lalogos 24th Aug 2009
Sure, okay, of course. But can't we just have some mindless fun here once in a while? I mean, it WAS based upon a "current event," i.e., Hormel just criticized him NOW, not 20 years ago.

So, do YOU like SPAM?
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Tubeless Internet
Timewellwasted 24th Aug 2009
I fail to see why you have a problem with the post when SPAM (unsolicited Junk e-mail)is as prevelent as, or perhaps more-so than in the 1990's.
And ripping on the Amish should be completely off limits no matter how brilliant you think you are. They are by a factor of 10, BY CHOICE the most modest, family oriented, responsible, and moral people left in this country.
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no tubes?
Opcom_ 24th Aug 2009
Bur sir, the Internet does have as its very backbone, vacuum tubes. Millions of them. Even though this has been done primarily as a measure of national security and therefore not spoken much of, I am aghast at the lack of common knowlege on a very subject so near to our very lives! Presently, I shall endeavor to write a scholarly and weighty tome, sparing not the parchment, and detailing properly the workings of the Internet with profuse illustrations, and quite generously elucidating the modern practice so that not only will the volume be fit reading by engineers practiced in the art, but the common man may, ignoring the higher mathematics if so he should choose, at once comprehend the truth of it. As a token of my sincerity, please find, at the link, an image taken during repair of the power supply for the wireless modem in the NOC where I am employed. http://www.bunkerofdoom.com/tuckerkw/mvca019f.jpg
0 Votes
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No Tubes?
I Hate Malware 24th Aug 2009
I was expecting something on a grander scale, but i suppose the interwebs have been modernised now so i'll just shut up and sit in my corner with my alfoil hat on hoping i dont get my noggin struck by all those messages flying around.
0 Votes
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Tubes
getrealnow 25th Aug 2009
Ah yes memories of the thyratrons and their eerie glow in a poorly lit rooms. Also fond(?) memories of replacing discrete trans[fer] [res]istors.
0 Votes
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mmmm...
tomwnichols 25th Aug 2009
Now THAT is a worthy endeavor that will require my close scrutiny...just as soon as I fry up this SPAM sandwich.
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now we have a scholar at work
ozerob 25th Aug 2009
we await the weighty tome with breath abated and consciousness as yet to be sated. spare not the parchment for this most worthy of causes, that ye may bring enlightnment to those who be the huddled masses of newbies.

'nuff said - Brett
0 Votes
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Make ye haste bretheren!
Bacon 3000 25th Aug 2009
For we must striketh whilst the iron is still of utmost heat. Shall we create a new forum where upon posts may only be scribed in old world speak? Ye that I may be so emboldened to maketh such a brazen suggestion. Please bretheren, do not smite or flameth me.
0 Votes
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Tubes? We don't need no stinkin tubes.
Bacon 3000 Updated - 25th Aug 2009
Opcom, yours is my new favorite post of all time. Thank's for the laugh... I needed that.
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well i appreciated the article, and a bit of the history behind the word "spam". i wasnt in usa 20 years ago and i wasnt using english then either, so i missed out on your history. many of us foreigners, who are smart and intelligent but just simply were not here in your culture at that time, can appreciate learning more and now i understand better.
so keep writing the way you do, remember that many of your audience, especially computer geeks, are not necessarily american-born.
in Canada we had KLIK - a similar ( read same ) mystery-meat product. That and Spam are really quite palatable fried up, as are canned ham and Aussie canned corned beef. All too salty, but TASTY. So, aside from canned meat, what about the reference to 'tubes' ... you really don't know, do you? The first IBM mainframe I worked on actually did have tubes doing switching for memory (magnetic core memory at that time)- they were the only thing fast enough to handle the task - and handle the voltages needed to polarize the memory - and running on the mainframe for communication YEARS LATER something called DARPAnet appeared. If folks like me and my cohorts had not been developing and supporting this medium of communication since well before the '90s you would not have a place to express your opinions now. It is apparant that I have been working with computers longer than you have been alive.
Oh, and the Amish or anyone who embraced their life style are certainly not going to 'start writing articles' - are you even MARGINALLY aware of their lifestyle? AND - I doubt anyone would have you as a summer intern - you're FIRED. o sorry (NOT).
OLD GUY - worked as computer support since 1972 and retired 2007, my RV has as many antennas as Reg had (amuse yourself by realizing the implications) Cheers, and try that canned meat -it is really not so bad. My vote for replacement of the term SPAM is BUM - Bulk Unsolicited Mail - "I saw a dozen BUMs today" - and it does apply to both electronic and physical mailbox items. Do you concur?
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Alternate term to "spam".
scoleman@... 24th Aug 2009
How about "e-crap"?
0 Votes
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uh huh
fairportfan 9th Sep 2009
I say we keep using the term "spam" in the way we understand it.

Trademarks only have scope within the market segment the company is trading in.


Which, of course, is why Apple had to get trademark clearance from the Beatles (for their name) and from Nabisco (for the Apple Newton).
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Mean Dregs and Spam
mgp3 23rd Aug 2009
Mean Dregs & SPAM
Here's one I wrote a few years ago. It's to the meter of...well, I think you can figure it out.

Mean Dregs & SPAM

"Scram you spam!
Spam be damned!
I do not like that spam" he gammed.
Don't you like mean dregs and spam?
"I DO NOT LIKE THAT SPAM" he slammed.
"Do not like umpteen megs of spam"
Do you change your email from here to there?
"I change and they follow me everywhere
They do nothing just interfere
I do not like mean dregs and their spam
I try to fight them, scram you spam"
Do you recite "leave from my house"?
Do you fight them with your mouse?
"I disinvite them from my house
I unsubscribe them with my mouse
I do not like them here or there
No help from Uncle Sam, I fear"
Do you delete them from your inbox?
But they repeat them, sly like a fox?
"I click my mouse, remove the louse
There's one more here, another there
Each day sees more mean dregs and spam
Why can't you help us Uncle Sam?"
0 Votes
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food coloring does the trick
pcguy777 24th Aug 2009
Dr Suess. neat.
0 Votes
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humm . . .
CobraA1 23rd Aug 2009
"Bulk Unsolicited Email Messages"

Personally, it's just unsolicited for me - I don't really care if it's bulk mailed or not. If people hate my definition - too bad. I'll just filter out their complaints :P. My email, my rules, my definitions.

But anyways - I think "junk email" is pretty good. Short, simple, to the point.
0 Votes
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Got it.
briana.delaney@... 24th Aug 2009
Bulk Unsolicited Messages Sent...

BUMS.
Well, if we shorten the term to "Bulk Unsolicited Messages," we can start calling it BUM.

Apt, that, somehow...

mac
0 Votes
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And for the email side
mgp3 23rd Aug 2009
Seriously Hated Inbox Text silly
0 Votes
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what's not to like...
ozerob 25th Aug 2009
now, i never thought of using that because I'm not a person to cuss - but you got a good one there - I thought of BUM (bulk unsolicited mail) for both email and the junk flyers in the physical mailbox - I admit yours is the best definition i've seen so far - thanks for sharing it ! Now... if only it would stick (he-he) ,,,
0 Votes
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SPAM
bearmtbill 24th Aug 2009
As a Spam (the Meat) lover i am in for it tha this is the best name yet to the e-mail
BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM
0 Votes
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ORRRR . . . .
JLHenry 24th Aug 2009
You could shorten it to BM, which can stand for both 'Bulk Mail' and Bowel Movement . . . wink

Which equates to the same thing, really . . .
0 Votes
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Looks like...
Cosmo54 23rd Aug 2009
Looks like you've been a victim of the fish-slapping dance from Hormel, Jason! wink
0 Votes
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Surprisingly tasty
Dorkyman 23rd Aug 2009
No, seriously, it is.

A month ago my college-age daughter spotted a can of Spam in the store, and had heard the Monty Python skit. She said she had never seen it before, so I bought a can.

In in can, Spam doesn't look like much, but then canned ham looks pretty gross also. Fried, it is surprisingly tasty, very similar to bacon.

Are you the victim of your own prejudices, or are you willing to break through? Buy some and prepare a meal for a friend, telling him/her that it's a Hawaiian dish called "Bacon Musubi" or whatever. Chances are, shed the "Spam" handicap, they'll like it--a lot.
0 Votes
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Contributr
I'm sure I've eaten it.
jperlow 23rd Aug 2009
I've probably eaten it and liked it and not even known I have eaten it. Technically, the product which we in New Jersey know affectionately as "Taylor Ham" or "Pork Roll" on all our breakfast sandwiches with egg and cheese on a Kaiser roll is a form of SPAM.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pork_roll
0 Votes
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And in Pennsylvania
Michael Kelly 24th Aug 2009
we have scrapple. And I don't care if it tastes like a bacon or pulled pork or an ice cream sundae, I cannot bring myself to eat that stuff.
0 Votes
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Pennsy Spam
bobzaguy 24th Aug 2009
You also have another coined word in Pennsy that has entered the dictionary, albeit not Merriam-Webster's book, that of "santorum" which entered modern linguistics via the Dan Savage Sex Column.

Maybe we should apply it to this type of waste product.
0 Votes
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Or try . . .
JLHenry 24th Aug 2009
the classic 'Spamburger'! We used to eat these when I was a kid, and they're still good today, with a little tomato, lettuce, & mayo on toast is the best . . .
0 Votes
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Ate it at summer camp for years . . .
pikeman666 25th Aug 2009
While in the scouts Spam was a staple since it didn't require refrigeration. We ate it all the time. Fried in an iron pan followed with eggs fried in the fat. Heart attack in a mess tin. I've heard that Russians love the stuff. Let's face it, salty pork muck can be made pretty tasty. And the rest of the world LOVES the stuff!
But now that I'm upscale, I can make fun of it. But belive me, if there is ever a serious sustained disruption of food distribution due to some emergency SPAM will be in great demand.
0 Votes
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Check out the USPTO
davebarnes 23rd Aug 2009
I went to the USPTO and searched on SPAM in the trademark database.
Whoa! 164 registered trademarks that contain the word SPAM.

Hormel owns a bunch on SPAM.

Retail gift shop services. FIRST USE: 20010702. FIRST USE IN COMMERCE: 20010702

IC 041. US 100 101 107. G & S: educational and entertainment services, namely providing museum services featuring exhibits, memorabilia, and various multimedia presentations. FIRST USE: 20010917. FIRST USE IN COMMERCE: 20010917

IC 009. US 021 023 026 036 038. G & S: downloadable software, namely screen savers. FIRST USE: 19940600. FIRST USE IN COMMERCE: 19940600

IC 029. US 046. G & S: poultry. FIRST USE: 19971121. FIRST USE IN COMMERCE: 19971121

IC 041. US 100 101 107. G & S: entertainment services, namely participating in automobile races. FIRST USE: 19950219. FIRST USE IN COMMERCE: 19950219

IC 029. US 046. G & S: processed meat. FIRST USE: 19900814. FIRST USE IN COMMERCE: 19900814

and others.

But, I don't see any that Hormel owns on junk mail.
0 Votes
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SPAM use as name
ozerob 25th Aug 2009
1952 - Hormel
0 Votes
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It must be the silly season.
Mac Hosehead 23rd Aug 2009
Does Hormel really think that sales of pork shoulders are hurt by the implied reference to unwanted e-mails? Might even be the other way around although I view SPAM to be a food that if you weren't raised on it, it's probably not going to be a big part of your diet. Much like Vegemite in my case.
0 Votes
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vegemite vs peanut butter
ozerob 25th Aug 2009
yep, vegemite is pretty much at the low end of taste sensations - i'd put it a few notches below canned spam ... deserves the old quote "tastes like sh*t, but you can live on it" - personally i'd rather get my sodium overdose from peanut butter.
I'm actually not surprised they sent that email. In fact I am more shocked that they didn't make a bigger issue out of it. If it comes down to it, we'll just have to use the term "junk mail" and give up the good ole spam sad
0 Votes
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SPAM vs. spam vs. Spam
geoff@... 24th Aug 2009
Frankly I think Hormel got exactly what it wanted, a well read blog discussing both SPAM and spam. Not really a cease and desist in the true sense more of a "Hey, this guy might just write another blog and get us more press!" Looks like it worked to me...
0 Votes
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SPAM
becabill 24th Aug 2009
i haven't had a fried spam sandwich with miracle whip in years, i think i'll go make one!
0 Votes
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... to go with it! Don't want to take a chance and ruin your totally artificial, um, "meal." happy Fake meat, fake mayo, and fake cheese!

Now, where's my TAB (Totally Artificial Beverage) to go with it!
And when you're down, take your TUMS and then prozac to conk you out and give you FAKE SLEEP!

Gotta love this country ...
0 Votes
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LOL
nfhiggs@... 24th Aug 2009
I always wondered where they got the name for TAB...Now I know!
0 Votes
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MW
bobzaguy 24th Aug 2009
eeeeew, Miracle Whip. Uglybeyondbelief spread...
0 Votes
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miracle whip or worse...
ozerob 25th Aug 2009
and if you had a choice between miracle whip or Mickey D's special sauce - which would you eat?
Same stuff...
0 Votes
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They may . . .
JLHenry 24th Aug 2009
remember the problems with 'Kleenex' back in the 70's (it was ruled as having passed into the public domain, if I remember correctly). I found this link explaining the use of SPAM in reference bulk email:

http://web.archive.org/web/20070115105048/http://www.spam.com/ci/ci_in.htm

I don't know if it's right, but it sounds reasonable.
At the risk of setting off some sort of "acceptable language" filter, I'll just submit that the best word for this is "****," as in, "I've got **** in my Inbox again." Since you used the word in your column, I'm taking that risk.

Seriously, I suppose we could say that we're demeaning ****, since the vast majority of what fills inboxes these days is less useful than that waste substance. Farmers use cow **** to fertilize fields, people in many third-world countries use **** as a fuel, and of course, it can be used in waste-water treatment plants to produce methane gas to operate the plants. It's a perfectly fine Anglo-Saxon word, and I'm not aware that it's been trademarked or copyrighted anywhere.

What do you think?
0 Votes
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It's OK to use the word that's starred in the column, but heaven help the commentator who tries to use it in their comments. I guess it was a risk worth taking, if for no other reason than to see what would happen.

Thanks for all the fish.
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SCO owns the patent on that!
lalogos 24th Aug 2009
You'll be hearing from their lawyers shortly.
0 Votes
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or did Al Gore invent it? ...
lalogos 24th Aug 2009
Ah, yes! It was Al Gore who invented both SPAM the pork and SPAM the word. And '****' as well. He invented the little asterik '*' so I guess you owe him about $150 and I'm up to $25. That's okay, he'll get us on our heating bill next year with his stock in "green businesses."
0 Votes
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**** should become mainstream
ozerob 25th Aug 2009
I agree - I am not one to swaer but here is a suitable spot for a word that fits the situation - if I get 100 emails in a day, I need to see (average) perhaps 7, 10 more are ads I might want to read , and the rest are just ****. If the word itself offends, why not just use the four * as an internet convention we can all live with? Personally I went for BUM ( bulk unsolicited mail) to apply to both computer and physical mail we neither want, need, or will ever read. Face it, we're likely stuck with 'SPAM' - and so is Hormel.
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How about BUM-essages? (NT)
soapymac@... 9th Sep 2009
.

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