Like many an ageing anorak, I affect a world-worn mien when confronted by technology. Can I get excited by the latest Windows utility to organise my hard disk?
Starting in 1996, before 'blog' was even a word, Rupert Goodwins has been writing dyspeptic, dramatic, disbelieving or delighted descriptions of daily life in IT journalism. Rupert's Diary is that collection, and will be updated until there are no more silly or splendid things happening in the world of digital technology - or the Rapture, whichever happens first. The smart money's on the Rapture.
Rupert started off as a nerdy lad expecting to be an electronics engineer, but having tried it for a while discovered that journalism was more fun. He ended up on PC Magazine in the early '90s, before that evolved into ZDNet UK - and Rupert evolved with them into an online journalist.
Crash! Bang! Wallop! As I struggle to wakefulness with the sound of the Today programme, it becomes clear that all is far from well on what used to be called the stock market (it's now far more complex than that: I don't recall seeing pictures from the Depression of ruined bankers holding up signs saying they'd lost everything on the forward derivative spot market.
Wossat? Hayes and Microsoft doing The Microsoft Modem?
MondayPhone call from a close friend saying 'Help! I installed Internet Explorer 4 and now my computer doesn't work!
Picture the scene: Camden Town, midnight, Saturday. A rather merry computer journalist traipses to the cashpoint to refuel for the rest of the evening's nonsense - but no!
Get into the office to find enough spam in my mailbox to feed an army of Australians. Not good.
Fresh from my orgy of nerdiness last week, when I found and downloaded emulators for Edsac, the Ferranti Pegasus, the Oric Atmos, the Altair, and other bits of antediluvian technology, I go sniffing around after ancient chips. One in particular turns up time and time again, the 4004.
TuesdaySee Monday. Still, had a rather useful burst of hallucinatory fiction writing.
A grand night out in town has a bucket of cold water thrown over it by the news from Paris. Watch the announcer on BBC try and fail to come to terms with what he's saying.
TuesdayBack at work. No granite, sheep or kites. Boo.