How Julian Assange should escape England [video]

How Julian Assange should escape England [video]

Summary: Our own Zack Whittaker takes a break from his tireless reportage to explain to Reuters how Wikileaks' Julian Assange could escape the U.K.

TOPICS: Open Source

If you don't know Zack Whittaker, friends, he's the tireless (and bearded, though in hindsight apparently most of us at ZDNet are) fellow we have planted in the rolling hills of England to ensure that you have a fresh batch of technology news every morning.

Lately, he has been on a tear covering the antics of Wikileaks founder Julian Assange, who managed to place himself in an international standoff with the British government by claiming asylum in the Ecuadorian embassy. The Brits, of course, are waiting with bated breath for him to try to make an escape.

Just how could he do that? Well, Zack shared the answer with Reuters.

Here's a listen:

All in good fun, of course!

If you're interested in his and others' ongoing coverage, read on:

Topic: Open Source

Andrew Nusca

About Andrew Nusca

Andrew Nusca is a former writer-editor for ZDNet and contributor to CNET. During his tenure, he was the editor of SmartPlanet, ZDNet's sister site about innovation.

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  • A Daring Escape

    Any daring escape should be in keeping with Assange's reputation and personality. This is why I suggest he should try to escape by hiding inside a lady diplomat's naughty parts, and being smuggled out of the country that way.
    • For such an escape...

      He would, of course, have to arrange for Yakity Sax to be playing over the loudspeakers of the Embassy while doing so.
      Third of Five
    • Just one problem

      Once he's fully in there he can't beat them anymore, so there goes any chance of continued cooperation...
  • Why not a simple makeover

    Have someone come into the embassy, make over Assange so he looks exactly like that person, have Assange walk out of the front door. And for extra credit, make over the other person to look like Assange and have him make a balcony appearance as the real Assange walks out the door. Then once Assange is in Ecuador the other guy can walk out and feign ignorance.
    Michael Kelly
    • Singing...

      "have him make a balcony appearance as the real Assange ..."

      preferably while singing "Don't cry for me Argentina."
  • Or...

    ...someone could just shoot the creep, and do the world a favor.
    • Or..

      someone could just shoot you because... well somebody maybe does not like you. You know, this is how civilized people resolve conflicts. They shoot each other.
      • Yeah...

        "You know, this is how civilized people resolve conflicts. They shoot each other."

        Well, maybe not civilized people everywhere, but in America, pretty much, yeah..
      • Got ya!

        I am rolling on the floor laughing my arse off.
  • What they should do

    Is everyone goes to the embassy dressed like assange.... 100's of them... they all run amock... police cant arrest everyone.
  • He should take a cyanide pill

    and escape everything!
    William Farrel
  • Sticks like glue

    He should announce that to protect Wikileaks, he is temporarily stepping aside as its leader so that he can devote his full attention to addressing the Swedish government's concerns about his personal behavior. "Wikilieaks is more important than just one person," he should say, "and that is why I am today appointing [insert name -- ed.] to lead Wikileaks in my absence. I hope to return shortly to continue exposing the evils of the world. In the meantime I will return to Sweden to answer the scurrilous accusations that have been made against me."
    Robert Hahn
  • Time to just

    send in a team and get it done.
    Tony Burzio
    • Invade a sovereign country

      Sure, why shouldn’t Britain invade a sovereign country? Because Ecuador’s embassy is legally part of their country. After all, the US set a precedence when we invaded Iraq without provocation or even reasonable evidence of wrongdoing.
      • I wonder

        I wonder if the Brits would lose as many people invading the Ecuadorian embassy as we lost invading and occupying Iraq? OK. maybe not, but I bet they'd find a way to lose a guided missile destoyer in the process.
      • Sovereign Country?

        It is a common misconception that Embassies of a country are Sovereign territory of that country, but this is basically not true.

        The Embassy is on sovereign British soil, the only difference is that it has protection under the Vienna Convention.
  • Just do nothing, the issue will solve itself

    It costs money to place policemen and surveillance to try to catch Mr Assange. After a while, UK tax payers will get fed up. They may even vote for Mr Assange to become UK Prime Minister.
    • Just do nothing, the issue will solve itself

      It would appear you don't know much about the British system of government, used in Australia, Canada and a few other Commonwealth countries. Only party members vote for a Prime Minister. People vote for the party not the person. The leader of that party then by default becomes the Prime Minister. That's why British system elections only last a few weeks not drag out for years and cost billions of dollars like the US system. Call an election, the leader is already in place. The party with the most MP's their leader becomes PM.
  • Assange Escape

    As everyone with a brain bigger then an amoeba knows its the US that's after him and using their behind the scenes coercion to get him. For the US to accuse someone of sex crimes to get what they want is SOP for the US Feds, They have been doing it for decades
    They used it as a pretense to assassinate a Canadian Ambassador John Watkins in the early 60's who they didn't like for unknowingly screwing up a covert spy scheme in the USSR

    An idea for an escape. Create a flash mob of a few hundred thousand supporters, called a Human Wave Attack, overwhelm the cops with protesters and he just slips away into the night.
  • Make him a diplomat

    Ecuador should give him citizenship and appoint him as a diplomatic staff with immunity.