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What would Ronald Reagan make of our current crop of Republicans? More to the point, if Reagan were alive today, with the politics he had back then, could he have even made it through the primaries? The architect of the Reagan Revolution would have seemed positively moderate by today's highly conservative standards.
Which reminds me, a conservative, a moderate, and a liberal walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "Oh, hi Mitt." And yes, I know, that's funny on many different levels.
In any case, in honor of the Reagan Revolution (and Newt Gingrich's desperate attempts to prove he invented it), we bring you Civilization Revolutions from the iPhone app store. Now, tell the truth, can't you picture Newt in a Napoleon hat? Even just a little?
Skipping past Bush-the-Elder, we come to the great William Jefferson Clinton, the man whose vice president invented the Internet. Clinton presided over the last big bump in our economy, along with helping along some of the banking deregulation that led to the economic crash of the Dubya years. Even so, you can't help but like Bill Clinton.
Choosing an app to honor Bill is tough. Do we go with some buy-one-get-one-free app? Do we go with some sort of policy wonk app? Or do we instead go where all our brains tend to go? Yeah, you know that's where we're going. And so, it's our great pleasure to bring you Cigar Monster, for all your discount cigar needs.
Wow, what can you say about George W. Bush that hasn't already been said. He is our most recent two-term president. He was the president in office during the fateful events of September 11, 2001. He sent us to war, not only in Iraq, but in Afghanistan, and his search for weapons of mass destruction turned out to be a fool’s errand.
What app does one buy for our last, great Republican president? I tried to find a blow-up Karl Rove doll, but I'm told they're all sold out. What to pick? What to pick? Ah, of course! For all your mission accomplished needs, I present to you Aircraft Carrier for your Android device.