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Apple always pulls out the mega numbers during its presentations to say how many zillions of something are sold, downloaded or used.
Every time you hear "Millions" of something, punch the person next to you in the arm for every 100 million or less. So for Four million, one punch. One hundred million, one punch per, up to nine punches for nine hundred million.
If you hear a "Billion" of anything, the person next to you gets to kick you in the 'Nads. This does not apply to Quarterly Financial Reports.
If you hear a "Trillion" of anything, one human or animal sacrifice has to be made to appease the Jobs.
You know that cool new feature they just announced that already exists in a competitor's product? Like the "Do Not Disturb" feature in iOS which already exists in virtually every Android phone? Or the new 3D maps that Google already has out?
Every time Apple talks about one of these, flagellate yourself.
Are you ready to play along? Here we go!
Take 18 Regular shots from Hyperbole. Don't worry, we notified your next of kin.Take 7 Suicide Shots. Charlie Sheen just called, he wants to be your AA sponsor.
Take a hit from 2 iBongs. Are we wasted yet?Receive 5 Punches, 6 kicks to the nads, and perform one ritual sacrifice. What a party, right?
Perform 2 Self-Flagellations for Apple announcing features Google already has in Android and Google Maps/Google Earth. Does it sting bad?