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7. Worst use of fire-engine red (laptop division): CyberPower Xplorer
We haven't carried around anything this red since we played with Tonka trucks. For the record, that was a while ago. This CyberPower laptop makes up for it a bit with decent performance, but anything this red should have a tourniquet wrapped around it. Still, it's probably smaller than the Wolverine Data MVP.
8. Worst name for a product that's supposed to go in your living room: Biohazard Media Center Xpress
This rack-style Biohazard multimedia PC will look great next to your LeadPaint-brand A/V receiver, Asbestos-brand speakers, and Steaming Pile of Human Waste-brand HDTV! Hazmat suit sold separately.
9. Worst-rated product that CNET readers love: Nokia 770 Internet Tablet
This thing, it surfs Internet. You want to make phone call? You can't make phone call. You like Ethernet? No Ethernet. You get Wi-Fi. Wi-Fi is nice. No wires! You like slow load times? Yes? It is good for that. You like battery that lasts more than three hours? It does not have one. Nice screen, though.