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Seth: And send. Hello. In a few moments, Steve Balmer will enthusiastically take the stage and start filling your head with his tales of how entertainment technology's making everything better, but due to time constraints, I'm sure he's going to miss himself. Therefore, we wanted to make sure that we took the time to thank technology for everything it does for us. Here are some examples. Before video chatting, if my grandparents wanted to see me, they had to travel across the country.
>> Seth's grandma: Seth.
>>
Seth: Hi grandma.
>> Seth's grandma: You need to eat more. Why aren't you wearing the sweater I bought you? Seth, when are you going to get married?
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Seth: Thanks technology. Before XBox Live, I thought I was better at video games than 11 year olds.
>> video game sounds
Child: You suck, old man.
>>
Seth: Thanks technology. Before Facebook, you had to be at my apartment to see this picture. Thanks technology. Before digital cameras had video, I was never the subject of a weird eight-second art film when I thought I was taking a still photo.
Pause
Sirens
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Seth: Some video. Thanks technology. Before eBay, if I was out drinking on a Friday night, and decided I needed to buy a Scar Story Indian for my apartment, I was out of luck. Thanks technology. Before texting, I never sent the wrong person a letter telling them I thought they were a jackass.
>>
Seth: laughs Oh, no.
>>
Seth: Thanks technology. Before Twitter, if I wanted to know what a person thought their cat was thinking, I would have had to have been an idiot. Huh. Thanks technology. So there you have it. Some of the many ways that technology has made our lives better. If you need me, I'll be playing my 18th consecutive game of online Scrabble. Thanks technology. Oh, I'm wasting my life.
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==== Transcribed by Automatic Sync Technologies ====
