ZDNet UK Ignoble Christmas Catalogue 2011

ZDNet UK Ignoble Christmas Catalogue 2011

Summary: ZDNet UK presents the 2011 Ignoble Christmas Catalogue of products and services that cannot or should not exist, including the iPhone Shuffle and the Canon 4D printer. You won't see these in 2012... probably

TOPICS: After Hours

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  • Itanium Extreme

    ZDNet UK presents the 2011 Ignoble Christmas Catalogue of products and services that cannot or should not exist. You won't see these in 2012... probably.

    Itanium Extreme
    Intel's latest many-core system (above) couples 50 Itanium II cores on one giant wafer. Using Intel's proprietary StuffedCrust fab, this 24-inch chip clocks in at 10kw and one teraflop*. Combining a unique WiMax internal bus, 4004 compatibility in software, quad-gate plutonium-silicon transistors and a gigabyte of cache per core, this chip is self-powering and doubles as a system backlight. Overclocking generates sufficient hard X-rays for medical imaging solutions.

    *Simulated. A compiler capable of generating running code for the Itanium Extreme is expected Q4 2016.

    Image credit: Leifur Einarsson

  • iPhone Shuffle

    iPhone Shuffle
    Apple knows social. In fact, Apple knows your social network better than you know yourself. With the iPhone Shuffle, tear free of the tedious business of deciding who to call and when to call them, and enjoy the liberation of renewing old conversations, catching up with friends — or even giving your bank or boss a surprise call.

    With no display or controls to worry about, all you need to is slip on the headphones when the red light shows and hold the phone in the approved position — and you're already connected to a random selection from your contacts list, at a random time!

    Apple's cloud-based Genius Connect servers have already analysed your every move online and on the phone, and generated the best possible sequence to revitalise your personal, business and even your love life!

    Apple: It's your call. But we own it.

    Image credit: Leifur Einarsson

Topic: After Hours

Rupert Goodwins

About Rupert Goodwins

Rupert started off as a nerdy lad expecting to be an electronics engineer, but having tried it for a while discovered that journalism was more fun. He ended up on PC Magazine in the early '90s, before that evolved into ZDNet UK - and Rupert evolved with them into an online journalist.

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1 comment
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  • Rupert, this is just absolutely wonderful. Thanks.