BMW wants you to buy its self-driving car so you can have sex in it

In a new teaser ad for its Vision iNext concept vehicle, the German automaker offers a peculiar view of the imminent future.

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The aphrodisiac power of self-driving.

(Screenshot: ZDNet)

You're likely salivating over the idea of a fully self-driving car.

No, not like those Teslas that seem to define the word autonomous in, to some ears, a slightly ambiguous way.

I'm thinking of the sorts of cars in which you'll sit back, relax, and work all the way to the office. The sorts of cars that'll plague you with ads based on your location and your current browsing.

The sorts of cars in which the car may have to decide whether you should die or not.

BMW wants you to look on the bright side. The very, very bright side.

In a new teaser ad for its Vision iNext concept vehicle, the German automaker suggests the main reason to buy one is so that you and your beloved can enjoy carnal pleasures inside it. On the way home from an entertaining night out.

What else can one conclude from these 10 seconds of glorious excitement?

BMW promises "New Moments of Joy," all thanks to your gleaming self-driving car.

Short moments, indeed, as these people's car seems to attract the attention of the local police force. 

It's hard to tell whether the member of law enforcement believe an infraction has been committed or whether enhanced voyeurism is another powerful benefit of self-driving cars.

BMW isn't exactly the first entity to leap upon the Hey, Sex In Cars pick-up truck. Last year, researchers from the University of Surrey and Oxford University declared that sex in driverless cars will be the next big thing.

They did, however, offer this ominous warning: "While [driverless cars] will likely be monitored to deter passengers having sex or using drugs in them, such surveillance may be rapidly overcome, disabled, or removed."

And there you were thinking your self-driving car is your castle, inside which you can do whatever you please.

One could posit, of course, that there'll be so many driverless cars on the road that traffic will grind to a halt, leaving you with little option for bumping and grinding than in the back seat of your little BMW.

The future may not be romantic at all.