Dear Google, where the hell is my Google+ invitation?

Google needs to show me some love with a Google+ account. There's no one more deserving than me to have one of those golden tickets. I'm your Charlie Bucket.

By a show of hands, how many of you received a Google+ invitation? Well, I didn't receive one nor did anyone I know. And, I know a lot of high-profile writers, authors and various pseudo-celebrities. But, none have one. No, not one. To snub someone like myself, who is such a huge Google fan, is almost too appalling to discuss in a public forum. But, I'll try.

I should have received one of these highly valued, golden ticket invitations because, after all, I'm a writer, a book author, a podcaster and a columnist. I'm almost famous, dammit, and yet, here I am checking my GMail (oh, look at that, GMail--a Google property) account every five minutes to find my coveted invitation but I still don't have one. I've even checked my Spam folder because I know, deep down, Google couldn't have forgotten me--or worse, snubbed me.

I keep expecting that they'll realize their egregious oversight and that any minute now I'll get a Google Voice (That's me, using another Google service) message stating, apologetically, that someone inadvertently misplaced my special invitation. Apology accepted. Accepted with a caveat.

I want a Google+ invitation and I want one for all of my awesome friends too. Why else would I want one, if my friends can't be on there with me? Duh, it's social networking. Who will I network with, if my friends aren't on?

My friend list is extensive but there are a few of my notable ZDNet homeys who deserve mention in my demand for a Google+ invitation.

  • Jason Perlow - He helped me land this gig, I suppose, to remove whatever dignity is left on ZDNet after his reign of terror. He deserves one, for sure.
  • Larry Dignan - The awesome guy who runs this blog plus it never hurts to schmooze the boss.
  • Ed Bott - He's almost as cool as me plus he lives in Santa Fe, where I used to live.
  • Mary-Jo Foley - She needs one to offset the fact that she's forced to write about Microsoft.
  • David Gewirtz - He's almost as good a writer as me. He should ride my coattail for a freebie or two.
  • Steven J. Vaughan-Nichols - For having the longest name in tech and for writing about Linux.

There are a few who do not deserve Google+ invitations. If these people get them, I'll unfriend them faster than you can say, "Steven J. Vaughan-Nichols."

But, to my dear friends at Google, I really only care about me and my Google+ invitation. Who needs friends when you have a Google+ account? Trust me, I'll have friends coming out of the woodwork once I get one of those babies.
So, now, here is my official plea to Google for one of those awesome Google+ accounts.
Dear Google,
I want a Google+ account. I'm an avid Googler and have always been an early adopter of all things Google.
Please give me an account before you give them to anyone else on my list so I can gain some real street cred with my fellow ZDNetters. Come on, I really want one. And, I don't want to threaten you or anything but part of my wife's family is named, "Cleary." You know, like Ryan Cleary, the Lulz Security guy. I'm not saying that there's any connection but I'm also not saying that there isn't.
So, seriously, hand over one of those accounts so I can gloat, er, I mean share the experience with all of my friends.