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Hey, Vonage, what part of "it's over between us" don't you understand?

Or, to put it another way, this is a story about how Comcast and Vonage have given a fellow named Asay a pain.Sorry but just couldn't resist the groaner play on a rather impolitic vernacular.

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Or, to put it another way, this is a story about how Comcast and Vonage have given a fellow named Asay a pain.

Sorry but just couldn't resist the groaner play on a rather impolitic vernacular.

Actually, we are talking here about colleague Matt Asay's repeated, unsuccessfuly efforts to transfer his Internet phone account from Vonage to Comcast. Something about user name- a key factoid necessary for number transfer- not being found.

But today, ah, satisfaction. Not that Vonage didn't make it hard to say good-bye.

Matt provides highlights (actually should be lowlights) of the separation conversation:

Vonage Customer Service Rep: So, you are telling me that you would like to cancel your account?

Me: Yes.

Vonage Customer Service Rep: Can I ask why?

Me: The service has hardly worked for the past year. I'm fed up.

Vonage Customer Service Rep: So you would like to cancel your account because the service has not worked properly for you. Have you tried calling customer support? Our technicians are experts in resolving technical issues.

Me: Yes. I have called many times and the service continues to stink. Please just cancel my account.

Vonage Customer Service Rep: I can get a technician on the phone right now...

Me: Please just cancel my account. I don't want to talk to a technician again. I just want out.

Vonage Customer Service Rep: OK, so you are saying that you want to cancel your service with Vonage and that you do not want to talk to a technician to resolve your service issues. We value your business and would like to give you two free months to demonstrate that we can resolve your issues.

Me: I don't want two free months of unusable phone service. I just want to terminate. Can you please cancel my account?

Vonage Customer Service Rep: So you are saying that you do not want two free months of Vonage service? I would be happy to get technical support on the line with us to resolve your issues.

Me: Please just cancel my service. I just want out!

Vonage Customer Service Rep: You seem to really want to cancel your Vonage service. By doing so you will lose your Vonage phone numbers...

Me: Please! That's exactly what I want. I just want to leave Vonage.

Vonage Customer Service Rep: So you're saying that you would like to cancel your Vonage service....

I'll pick up from here.

Hey Vonage, what part of "it's over between us" don't you understand?