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I get to the airport early. I don't need to lounge in a lounge. I hope there's no one annoying sitting next to me, especially not a baby. And I hope the plane leaves on time, arrives on time and the airline doesn't lose my luggage.
How about this: "Users can customize support for neck, shoulders and head & use cell phone at the same time! The micro-beads inside the pillow forms and contours to user's neck for maximum comfort."
Because there's just no way you can use a neck pillow and, say, hold your phone. Or perhaps put it on your little tray table.
You'll be wondering how this thing stays upright. Well, the makers explain: "Equipped with a twistable internal structure, anyone can easily use and adjust this mobile pillow. Its vertebrae-like construction make a quiet 'popping' noise [when] bent."
As I made a quiet popping noise when I witnessed this thing.
While you're considering all that, please let me consider someone next to me on the plane sticking one of these things in front of their face. And then rapidly turning around to ask me when the meal service begins.
I was fortunate that, on seeing this thing, I also heard from the makers' PR representatives.
The 56" long pillow is filled with micro-beads and can twist and bend into a customized form for neck, shoulders, lumbar and head support to be used while viewing your smart device! Streaming, Face Time, gaming, reading whatever hands-free activity you are doing be supported and comfortable! Popular with young children, teens, college students and adults. Great for holiday travel! Buy it in RED to be really festive!
Buy it in red so that people can see you from the other side of the plane, too. And look, it's popular with everyone except babies.
I have no idea whether this will populate America's airports over the coming days and months. I have no idea how many people will believe this iPhone-clutching anaconda is the perfect holiday gift.
The only thing I know is that if you ever see me using one of these things, please call a flight attendant, get me escorted off the plane and sent to an appropriate institution for examination and recovery.