Microsoft analyst is the very breast at being bad

Employee nabs prize for shabby romantic fiction

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Or shall I compare thee to a dodgy motor? Microsoft quantitative analyst Dan McKay has proved he doesn't know how to charm the ladies and snared the un-coveted San Jose State University prize for the worst passage of prose.

The university's 23rd annual Bulwer-Lytton fiction award attracted entries from Australia, Israel and the UK, but McKay beat them off to take the top spot by entering his description of a lady that's more Ford Fiesta than femme fatale.

The paragraph that scooped the Microsoft man his trophy was: "As he stared at her ample bosom, he daydreamed of the dual Stromberg carburettors in his vintage Triumph Spitfire, highly functional yet pleasingly formed, perched prominently on top of the intake manifold, aching for experienced hands, the small knurled caps of the oil dampeners begging to be inspected and adjusted as described in chapter seven of the shop manual."

Luckily for the world's bookworms and McKay, the paragraph is fictional fiction – the Bulwer-Lytton prize is awarded to the best worst opening paragraph of a made-up novel.