Call it the iProd.
The idea is you load it with answers to health-related questions, which the device uses to create a personal fitness regime.
Then, using sensors, the device figures out whether you're sticking to your plan, and nags you if you don't.
Personally, I find Apple's patent claims overly broad, and the initial input overly simplistic. But there is a way to make this truly useful.
For one thing, how about basing the health plan on everything in your personal health record? You can get your PHR on a stick.
You can monitor diet as well as exercise. You can monitor blood sugar levels easily. You can input prescription data and nag people to take their meds. And you can connect it all back to a doctor via the Internet.
Imagine what this can do for the aging. And if, like the iPod, it can play Chantilly Lace you might have something. Because, oh baby, that's what today's golden oldies like.