The Three Wi-Fi Men...

Naughty, naughty Airmagnet. Bad, bad Hotwire PR. Sending me a press release that starts "Airmagnet, Inc., the leading provider of wireless assurance solutions..."

You made up that category. You made up the 'leading'. You used the word 'solutions'. All in the first ten words. Why not just say "Airmagnet, Inc., maker of fine wireless network support products..."? All true - I've reviewed their spectrum analyser and it was indeed fine - and not a journalist-enraging cliche in the barrel.

But it's Christmas, so I shall be generous. Moreover, they fulfilled the upside of my PR Pitch Equation by supplying me with beer at their Christmas party, and then saw fit to include the most stonkingly trashy USB-powered desktop tree with the press release.

Ah yes, the press release. It says - and I'll spare you the gruesome details, although it was quite light-hearted - that if you wrap tinsel around your access point, coverage can be adversely affected. So decorate that office, but watch for wireless woes.

Fair enough. I've always been particularly sensitive to antenna abuse: when security guards hang their keyring off their walkie-talkie's rubber aerial, it takes all my self-discipline not to say "Don't you know what that's doing to the resonant frequency of the helical? Why, the signal to noise ratio will go through the floor, and as for the standing wave ratio when you transmit - well!". In my experience, making such observations to people in uniform is rarely advantageous. Knowing that I'm not the only one to think in those terms is... quite a relief, actually.

So top marks after all to Airmagnet, and thumbs up to Hotwire PR. Just please, you know, be kinder to the English language next time?