Photos: Telstra survival kit

There was no serum to cure Telstra exposure. Instead, Tell the Truth Telstra had resorted to the old-fashioned medium of ear plugs.

"Insert ear plugs to reduce the effects of Telstra lies," the instructions read. "Over exposure to these lies may lead to fits of disillusionment and monopolistic grandeur."

It seems that in the telco world too, prevention is better than cure.

Ear plugs firmly in, shouts rang out around the room. "What else is in there?"

Gloves, it seemed. "Apply gloves before handling any Telstra propaganda," the label read.

"Propaganda may include: media statements, speeches, third-party analysis/reports etc." Good to know.

Slippery gloved fingers took the last item out of the bag. Had a top secret military document fallen into ZDNet.com.au's hands? But no, it was simply a book.

It seemed, all anyone had to do to save the world from dangerous Telstra myths was to insert the ear plugs, put on the gloves and read the book, which detailed 29 Telstra myths ranging from the expense of structural separation to the profits needed to make the national broadband network worthwhile, and explained how to diffuse them.