Apple and Samsung's patent (thumb) war

The freight train of patent litigation that is Apple vs. Samsung in the Australian Federal Court continues to barrel along with no signs of slowing down anytime soon. Is there a chance that we could settle this case quickly, like adults?

The litigation kicked off in the US between Apple and Samsung in April of this year, with the patent lawsuit road show coming to Australia in early August. Apple claimed that Samsung had wilfully designed a product in breach of Apple's intellectual property, and, in October, Apple succeeded in its bid to block the device until the full patent case could be heard next year.

Meanwhile, Samsung has been lobbing its legal grenades over the trenches in the form of a cross claim against the iPad, an appeal against the tablet injunction and a somewhat vain attempt to block the iPhone 4S — after it launched.

The iPhone 4S infringement suit is being held over until next March, while the Galaxy Tab 10.1 case barrels along with no end in sight.

What can we do to sort this out quickly? I say we take the fight outside the courtroom, and settle it on the streets! Not like street fighting, or anything crazy like that, but with a series of contests involving skill, strength and flair.

What about a thumb war? Maybe an arm wrestle? Scissors, paper, rock, or even an oversized chess game?

Perhaps we could get the CEO of Apple, Tim Cook, and vice-chairman of Samsung, Yoon-Woo Lee, to take their respective products, and fight to the death with them in an arena, gladiator style? Justice Annabelle Bennett could preside over the match like the Roman Emperor did, and we'd finally have closure over who has patent supremacy.

Perhaps I'm being a tad ridiculous — but so is this case, to be honest.

Are we destined to be trapped in this patent law vortex for eternity?

Watch the video to see how a patent thumb war would play out.