If you knew Clippy like we knew Clippy
But we've got the real story . . .
Our story begins with the recent class action lawsuit against the software giant filed by legions of long-term temporary workers seeking the same benefits enjoyed by permanent employees. Turns out one of the lead plaintiffs in the suit was none other than our pal Clippy (who managed to initially fly under the radar by using his legal name of Chad Clippinsworth).
Clippy, you see, had been toiling away in Redmond for the past four years, first debuting in Office 97.
Clippy's rise to productivity-suite stardom was sudden. It was Microsoft exec Steve Ballmer--long credited with discovering the office supply star--who was impressed by Clippy's ability to hold together his ever-thickening financial statements. In fact, when Ballmer completed his ascendancy to Microsoft CEO, many attributed his rise to none other than Clippy.
The next few years were special ones for Clippy. We consider ourselves lucky to have shared some of the good times--the parties, the fast cars, the trips, and even the women (actually, Clippy preferred staple removers, but hey, whatever floats your boat). To friends, Clippy became known for his razor-sharp wit, tossing off lines like "It looks like you're typing a letter" and "Is this a bulleted list?"
But like most people who hit the top of their profession, Clippy was besieged by nay-sayers who called for his removal from the Office suite. Despite all that, Clippy managed to hold his head high, continuing to be a consummate professional day-in and day-out.
But in the middle of 2000, things began to go astray for dear Clippy. Despite all of Clippy's hard work, Microsoft was reluctant to make him a permanent employee, fearing similar demands from thousands of other temporary office supplies--particularly the outspoken whiteboard markers and Post-It notes. Clippy was understandably devastated, and was quickly recruited to join the class action suit--albeit using his legal name.
But after the temps won their suit, retaliation was swift, and Clippy--along with several other lower-profile temporary workers--was shown the door.
Clippy's descent into his own personal hell was rapid. One day, he was at the top of the productivity suite world. The next, he was swigging Raspberry Schnapps on Seattle street corners. Not surprisingly, the Seattle weather soon had Clippy a bit rusty, and severely bent out of shape. Despite our pleas, Clippy resisted rehab, continued to hit the bottle, and just last month, finally left us for that office supply closet in the sky.
Thank God, Clippy didn't live to see the final insult. Realizing they would have a public relations nightmare if word got out about Clippy's death, Microsoft recruited Clippy's estranged twin brother, Dippy, to fill the role of Office XP Assistant. But it quickly became apparent that Dippy was no Clippy, and soon he was relegated to off-by-default status. Showing their uncanny marketing abilities, Microsoft tried to turn this lemon into lemonade, by declaring that Clippy was no longer needed, and in fact, had the gall to base an entire marketing campaign on this claim. But now you know the truth.
Sure, many of you won't shed a tear for Clippy. But us? We choose to remember all of the good times. If only you knew Clippy like we knew Clippy....
Do you have any fond memories of the Office Assistant that people loved to hate? Tell us in the TalkBack below.
This Just In: For the first time ever, you can now get John and Josh delivered straight to your mailbox with the Hits & Hype newsletter. Click here to subscribe. COMMENTARY--Last week, Microsoft announced that its much-maligned Office Assistant, a.k.a. "Clippy," would be turned off by default in the just-released Microsoft Office XP. The official spin was that Office XP is now so easy to use that the world no longer needs Clippy.
But we've got the real story . . .
Our story begins with the recent class action lawsuit against the software giant filed by legions of long-term temporary workers seeking the same benefits enjoyed by permanent employees. Turns out one of the lead plaintiffs in the suit was none other than our pal Clippy (who managed to initially fly under the radar by using his legal name of Chad Clippinsworth).
Clippy, you see, had been toiling away in Redmond for the past four years, first debuting in Office 97.
Clippy's rise to productivity-suite stardom was sudden. It was Microsoft exec Steve Ballmer--long credited with discovering the office supply star--who was impressed by Clippy's ability to hold together his ever-thickening financial statements. In fact, when Ballmer completed his ascendancy to Microsoft CEO, many attributed his rise to none other than Clippy.
The next few years were special ones for Clippy. We consider ourselves lucky to have shared some of the good times--the parties, the fast cars, the trips, and even the women (actually, Clippy preferred staple removers, but hey, whatever floats your boat). To friends, Clippy became known for his razor-sharp wit, tossing off lines like "It looks like you're typing a letter" and "Is this a bulleted list?"
But like most people who hit the top of their profession, Clippy was besieged by nay-sayers who called for his removal from the Office suite. Despite all that, Clippy managed to hold his head high, continuing to be a consummate professional day-in and day-out.
But in the middle of 2000, things began to go astray for dear Clippy. Despite all of Clippy's hard work, Microsoft was reluctant to make him a permanent employee, fearing similar demands from thousands of other temporary office supplies--particularly the outspoken whiteboard markers and Post-It notes. Clippy was understandably devastated, and was quickly recruited to join the class action suit--albeit using his legal name.
But after the temps won their suit, retaliation was swift, and Clippy--along with several other lower-profile temporary workers--was shown the door.
Clippy's descent into his own personal hell was rapid. One day, he was at the top of the productivity suite world. The next, he was swigging Raspberry Schnapps on Seattle street corners. Not surprisingly, the Seattle weather soon had Clippy a bit rusty, and severely bent out of shape. Despite our pleas, Clippy resisted rehab, continued to hit the bottle, and just last month, finally left us for that office supply closet in the sky.
Thank God, Clippy didn't live to see the final insult. Realizing they would have a public relations nightmare if word got out about Clippy's death, Microsoft recruited Clippy's estranged twin brother, Dippy, to fill the role of Office XP Assistant. But it quickly became apparent that Dippy was no Clippy, and soon he was relegated to off-by-default status. Showing their uncanny marketing abilities, Microsoft tried to turn this lemon into lemonade, by declaring that Clippy was no longer needed, and in fact, had the gall to base an entire marketing campaign on this claim. But now you know the truth.
Sure, many of you won't shed a tear for Clippy. But us? We choose to remember all of the good times. If only you knew Clippy like we knew Clippy....
Do you have any fond memories of the Office Assistant that people loved to hate? Tell us in the TalkBack below.
This Just In: For the first time ever, you can now get John and Josh delivered straight to your mailbox with the Hits & Hype newsletter. Click here to subscribe.