Making America strong - one family at a time
Mash-up on steroids It sure is nice to see the folks in Washington DC pick up on the latest technology and put it to good wholesome use. I refer, of course, to a pilot program here in Arizona run by the Department of Family Security.
With an inspired combination of GPS automobile speed and location tracking, cell phone GPS, credit card transaction monitoring, personal RFID and cheap massive storage, our benevolent and helpful government has created a useful tool. I had no idea how useful until I received this letter:
Department of Family Security Behavioral Analysis Division Prediction and Notification Program Washington, DC
April 1, 2007
Dear Mr Harris,Pursuant to the provisions of the Defense of Family Act, the Super-PATRIOT Act, the Safe Driving Act, the American Family Self-Reliance Act and the Personal RFID Security Act, we are pleased to send you a Notice of Significant Family Behavior Change (NSFBC).
The NSFBC is designed to alert you to changes in the behavior of family members. You are asked to use this information for a caring discussion with the affected family member(s).
Family Member Name: CHRISTINE FORD HARRIS Family Member Relationship: Wife
Summary of Behavioral Change(s):
- Financial:
- 6 instances of afternoon drinks at the Black Rock Bar and Grill
- 5 charges at the Lazy Bear Motel 1/22/07, 2/07/07, 2/22/07, 3/11/17 and 3/29/07.
- Transportation:
- 4 MPH Average Urban Speed Increase during afternoon drive times, resulting in $214 in Excess Speed Charges.
- Communications:
- Afternoon cell phone calls received at the Lazy Bear Motel 1/22/07, 2/07/07, 2/22/07, 3/11/17 and 3/29/07.
- Association:
- Mr. STEVEN D. CLARK, tennis pro at the Oak Valley Country Club, is the only individual whose financial, travel and communications patterns are known to match those of CHRISTINE FORD HARRIS at this time.
- Terrorist Plot Threat Rating:
- LOW.
DFS/BAD reminds you that this information only suggests significant behavioral change(s). You are encouraged to open a respectful dialogue with the family member(s) to understand the the reasons for change(s). Work-related behavior changes are common and no cause for alarm. Please remember that it is highly unlikely your wife is a terrorist.
Based on DFS statistical profiling a Notice of Potential Domestic Dispute has been filed with local law enforcement. A list of faith-based and secular counseling services has been attached for your convenience.
Our goal at the Department of Family Security is to help you build a strong family unit. For more information please see our website at DEFSEC.GOV.
Sincerely,
(s)Elden Ebbish Family Security Officer "DFS - Helping Make America Strong - One Family At A Time"
I can't tell you how pleased I am Because I'm not sure if I'm pleased or not. But at least DFS "gets it" when it comes to creating a total information awareness web using every tool at their disposal to build a better America. If only every government program were as forward looking and technologically astute.
Comments welcome, of course. And a happy April 1st to you.