Overheard at IDF

All of the below were said, mostly by Intel people, within earshot of yours truly. No names no pack drill, and to further protect the guilty (and my job) I have excised some of the fruitier language.

But not all of it. On that note:

"Arm? ARM? What have they got? They can suck my plums"

"China can't be communist. They've got televisions'' (*)

"I'm not going to defend those benchmarks. They're absolutely solid. Anyone can check them out. We've always had a reputation for benchmarks. They're based on physics. Anyone's free to repeat them. I stand by the figures." (and so on, for another minute of sturdy non-defence).

"Oh, shit" – said on stage in front of thousands of engineers and press, when the speaker was unexpectedly thrown a prop on stage.

"Can we cut that?" - same speaker a few seconds later, perhaps taking IDF's tagline "Let's invent a new reality" a little too seriously

"I went to Currys to buy a digital television. The shop assistant said "It's very technical dear, you should send your husband". So I said "I've got a PhD and I work for a tech company". "Yes, dear, but it's still very complicated.""

"That keynote video must have had a bigger budget than AMD's... AMD's... well, AMD."

"Doesn't Pat Gelsinger look like Robert Downey Jr in Iron Man? Has he got a basement at home?"

(*) To be fair, this quote is a decade old and taken out of context – it was being used to illustrate how far the US tech industry has come in ten years in matters international.