Rupert Goodwins' Diary
Wednesday 5/11/2003
You can't keep a good hack down. We try, lord knows we try, but every so often Graeme "Scoop" Wearden escapes from the basement and goes out into the field in search of news. This time, his capacious hooter for hot poop led him to the Houses of Parliament where Lord Phillips of Sudbury has convened a meeting looking into the Regulation of Investigatory Powers Act. Now, Wearden is no stranger to the corridors of power -- the doors, however, are a different matter. The first committee room he sailed into turned out to contain a rather startled collection of Important People dealing with Northern Ireland, and you can judge for yourself over the coming weeks and months the effect Wearden's unwarranted intervention has had on that benighted province.
He escaped capture in a thrilling chase through the Palace of Westminster, with armed police and bazooka-toting balaclavas in hot pursuit (OK, I made that bit up), and eventually found the right room. No stopping our lad!
You can read his report of the event in the news section but a couple of points were left out. One was the contribution of the Earl of Erroll who muttered that the Home Office was "talking bollocks". This was shortly after Simon Watkin of the HO was argued that it was better to widen RIPA's powers now and then tighten up the flaws later. Wearden was so shocked by this example of noble forthrightness that he couldn't be quite sure what the Earl had said, but fortunately his lordship boldly reiterated his point. "It's the usual load of Home Office bollocks." Couldn't have put it better myself.
And as for the other thing that Wearden found out... well, that's coming soon to a news story near you next week.