Spamgrish: 20 of the Funniest Spam Comments Ever

Summary:In addition to 20 of the funniest spam comments I've ever run across, this post is exemplary of why you should never consider paying an agency a low dollar amount to build links for you. A detailed explanation of the concept of "link-building" is also linked to from within this article. Don't miss this opportunity for a good chuckle!

Spamgrish: Spam + Engrish

When it comes to SEO (Search Engine Optimization), link-building is one of the most important aspects of helping your Web site rank higher. Unfortunately, spammers exploit this process in any and every way that they can. Because many agencies and freelancers know the complexity and importance of link-building, they offer strictly link-building services where -- for one cheap price -- they will build X number of links for you. Sounds good, right?

Well, the problem with this is that the Web sites they post a link to your site on (typically via a comment on a blog) are the same ones they post a link to everyone else's site on as well (the last thing you want your site affiliated with is a blog chock-full of obvious spam). Not only that, but they typically have a number of ambiguous comments they recycle so that they don't have to take the time to come up with a relevant comment based on the content of the blog post they're posting a comment to. Finish off the cycle by factoring in outsourcing to entities with shoddy English grammar (or none at all, so they use Google Translate to create an English version of a comment they write in their native tongue) and the results are spam comments that read most humorously. Every single one of these are from my Microsoft blog, so I thought I would share some of my favorites (I've seriously found myself in tears reading some of these). I certainly hope you enjoy these as much as I have! In no particular order of hilarity:

1 - "Wow ! My god allah this is fantastic blog entry .. fantastic. fantasticly amazing .. amazingly fanastic and brilliantly posted this post. am saying Thanks this faamastic blog Wow!" (Probably the most amazingly "fanastic" comment I've ever received!)

2 - "I was reading this article and find it very informative. I admired the writer’s effort as he beautifully selects the most appropriate words for his post. The choice of his words has made this article unique and interesting. While reading this article I was feeling that I can completely understand the theme of this article and writer has written exclusively for me or for my school of thought."

3 - "Just desired to let you realize I enjoyed browsing on your world-wide-web internet site." (This one had me rolling on the floor)

4 - "Great blog site! I actually really like just how it truly is swift in my personal eyes as well as the information is well written. You are great. This website is very great. this post is very very great. this comments is very great. the resulting is very great to. I will look further too more stuff from you. Possess a good time!" (Hey, that's great!)

5 - "Thanks this made for intresting reading. I love your wordpress theme, i continually come back here and i dont know why."

6 - "Post is good, but I just don’t agree with you, haha haha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haha haha ha haha haha haha haha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hahaha hahahah ahaha hah aha ha haha hah ah ahaaaaaaaaaaa~" (I love the random tilda at the very end)

7 - "Funny, I used to be discussing this issue with my older sister the other day, now I'll have one particular more argument in my hand when it’ll appear to confrontation after again...."

8 - "am to a great extent impressed with the article I have just read. There is not much to say except the following universal truth: You never know where to look when eating a banana. I will be back." (Never has a universal truth been made more clear)

9 - "vvyzwfhyyjxqjviixdq, mattress toppers, onWZDtrm." (This would have been PERFECT had they not left out the "yyvvaaoi4jfaopwij4iafjoj23u," you know what I mean!?)

10 - "Greatly lucrative! Therefore… I nevermore search what I ask for. Much far more ideas and much even more nonconformity… a comment, I will actually do this."

11 - "Simply want to say your article is as tonishing. The clearness in your post is simply spectacular and i can assume you are an expert on this subject. Well with your permission allow me to grab your rss feed to keep up to date with updates updated" (A very "tonishing" article, indeed)

12 - "Thanks. Sun-drenched write-up! Put in writing more. It appears as if When i happen to normal customer" (I was just thoroughly amazed that they got the hyphen right in "sun-drenched")

13 - "Admiring the interval and trouble you put into your blog and itemized news you put forward! I will bookmark your blog and have my children thirstily check a depart up here often. Thumbs up!"

14 - "the item reminds me personally of men and women that seek advise from his or her notion in advance of people hop in anything."

15 - "Intercourse Chatroulette Attractive Moment! Good success!" (!!!)

16 - "This specific info is great, this can be just precisely what My spouse and i was initially researching for. i will probably be returning back again to this web site to receive additional info. how does one research just about all of this, merely astounding I swear, because it is actually great. I frequently normally just head to wikipedia for my basic research, I clicked on this web site from googlebingyahoo and bingo exactly precisely what I wanted keep up the good work." (Wow, that's a new one: "googlebingyahoo")

17 - "Thank you for your nice post i really enjoy to visit this type of post.I feel very happy while im entering your post.Thank u for your nice post.." (I wonder how they feel when exiting my post)

18 - "Inside of every cynical man or women, there’s a simple disappointed idealist mailed by using Blackberry" (The "mailed by using Blackberry" placed where it is really makes this one)

19 - "Great goods!" (Because no one would ever actually say that)

20 - "I think i enjoyed this post, i did think!"

So, to conclude, you can probably search Google for most of these and find them posted as blog comments on a whole slew of sites. Outside of the humor, the key takeaway here is that you don't want your Web site (or client's Web sites) to be affiliated with junk comments like this. They're relatively easy to seek out and discern who is paying for someone to build links for them versus those who build links via legitimate means (press releases, relevant blog comments, guest article posts, industry-related directories, et al). Once again, make sure you check out my link-building article to get the scoop on exactly what it is and how you should approach it.

Topics: Browser, Security

About

Stephen is a freelance writer and blogger based in Charlotte, NC. His contributions to ZDNet cover topics related to security, gaming, Microsoft, Apple, and other topics of interest with a tech/SMB skew.

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