Technology made me forget my manners

The next time you fly with Emirates, you might have to put up with someone yakking on his mobile phone in the seat next to yours.

Last week, the airline said it would invest US$27 million to equip its entire fleet with the technology to offer in-flight mobile phone service. The announcement prompted one ZDNet Asia reader to post this comment: "This is a great reason to not fly Emirates. Imagine people screaming into their phones to be heard over the engine noise.

"It is bad enough [to have that] on public transportation, but in the air...Yuck!" He adds that "points of distinction" should be awarded to airlines that choose not to offer this service in the future.

I second him on that. Designating a confined space like an airplane as mobile-friendly is just as bad as, if not worse than someone's phone going off in the middle of a cinema show or musical.

I cringe every time a phone goes off when I'm in the train or bus. One time, I was forced to listen in as a guy on his mobile whined to a friend on the other line about how his girlfriend just turned down his marriage proposal. Geesh, bro, take it outside!

But, as the adoption of a technology like mobile grows more pervasive, do we become so accustomed to its ubiquity that, over time, we learn to forget habits we once found irksome?

I recently caught a rerun of an episode from U.S. sitcom Seinfeld, in which Elaine was chided for using her mobile to call a friend to enquire about the friend's sick parent. Jerry argued that it's not the kind of conversation one has on a mobile. It lacks sincerity and trivializes the severity of the friend's sick parent because, according to Jerry, mobile conversations are quick-and-dirty and aren't used to hold serious meaningful discussions.

Jerry further explained that asking about someone's ailing parent is a conversation you have at home, where you are comfortable enough to have a long chat in private.

This particular episode was first broadcast back in 1997 or 1998, during the final season of Seinfeld, and it triggered a memory that I'd long forgotten--I used to think like Jerry. I once used my mobile only for "quickie" conversations, for example, to inform a friend I would be late for an appointment or to locate my family after losing sight of them in a shopping mall.

However, these days, I no longer think twice about having one hour-long conversations on my mobile, and I use it to ask about a friend's well-being.

I used to start each IM (instant messaging) conversation with "hi, got a second to spare?" or "sorry to bother you". That was two years ago.

I've since dispensed with the salutations, warm greetings and apologies for interrupting. These days, I no longer worry about pinging someone before asking if he's in the middle of something important. Instead, I'd dive straight into my question and forget about the pleasantries.

And these days, I sometimes forget to check the time before I call someone on his mobile. I once called someone with an enquiry, and only realized five minutes into the conversation that he was chewing on some food. It then occurred to me that I'd called him way after office hours and when he was having his dinner.

I'd lost my manners. And, it's getting increasingly difficult to mind them.

Earlier this week, over lunch, I asked a contact if he had received the e-mail I sent the day before. He replied: "Yes, at 1am!" Erm, I've been a night owl since young.

When he said that, it occurred to me that he could have received a beep just after 1am on his push-mail mobile device.

Should I have been more mindful about sending e-mail messages in the middle of the night because it could trigger an alert on the receiver's BlackBerry and arouse him from sleep?

Does the same rule apply for SMSes? I sometimes send text messages past midnight on the assumption that the receiver's mobile is turned off, so I figure he wouldn't be disturbed by a beep. But, many users these days leave their phones on 24 by 7, so I've refrained myself from doing this anymore.

As any new technology picks up momentum and become more pervasive, many eventually forget the basic rules of social etiquette.

More and more cinema-goers think nothing about answering their mobiles in the middle of a screening, totally oblivious to the stares and shushing from other viewers. I myself have learnt to tune off earsplitting conversations that some crazy commuters have on trains and buses.

Perhaps we should do what Japan has done with its public transport. There are signs on trains to remind commuters to switch their phones to silent mode, or what the Japanese coined as "manners mode". It has become such an accepted practice that those who choose to ignore it are frowned upon.

As technology continues to evolve and offer more user convenience, we must remind ourselves every now and then that the need to be civic-minded and observe basic social decorum should never be compromised.