The WiFi next door hears you having sex

And other activities, all in a name.

WiFi circa the 19th century.

This is not quite what it sounds like, so to speak. But still worth noting.

According to a BBC story, neighbors are getting down right vindictive and hoaxing in the names they choose for their WiFi networks. Those names pop up on other people's nearby WiFi-connected computer menus. In some cases, the labels communicate a "shut up" type message to, say, fellow building dwellers who don't know how to keep the music down. In others, the word play is a bit more prurient.

Some common names noted by OpenSignalMaps, a company that keeps a database of network handles:

    • We can hear you having sex
    • Stop having so much sex
    • Stop wearing heals
    • Stop slamming the door
    • Shut up
    • Stop shouting
    • You're music is annoying (to which someone replied via a new WiFi name, Your grammar is more annoying)
    • Terror network
    • Virus detected shutting down

And then there are names intended to tell WiFi moochers to "keep your hands off":

    • Stop stealing my paper
    • Go away don't steal my broadband
    • Thou shalt not steal
    • Covet not thy neighbor's wi-fi

Now that we've circled back to sex, let's leave the name game there. Meanwhile, safe computing!

Image: "Eavesdropping" by Vittorio Reggianini, from Wikimedia via Sotheby's.

This post was originally published on


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