First things first: As much as you'd like it to be fake, the GoJo Hands Free headset is real.
But to call the GoJo a "gadget" is perhaps unwise. It's more of a solution wrapped in cheap plastic, glazed with promise and presented with the expected glitz of a late night infomercial. That alone should probably make you doubt its claims. It's modern, gadget-focused snake oil.
Still, GoJo pitchman Joe Gray's claims are strangely compelling, hypnotizing in the sort of way that only television commercials can be. You want to doubt him, but you can't, because, underneath it all, the GoJo really does solve a problem that cell phone users face on a regular basis.
And it's this: People in offices, people in cars, people in gyms, and people doing backflips -- they all want to be able to talk on their phones without having to hold them. And the GoJo allows them to do just that.
"It is so simple. I love it," says the commercial's bearded man, who appears earnest enough that he may not be acting.
"I don't have to keep my hands on my cell phone - I don't have to worry about it," says the woman directly after him, affably.
The commercial's talking point's are clear: The GoJo is all about simplicity, speed, and convenience. Joe Gray's gestures evocatively in an effort to convince you, and probably himself, of this reality.
But it's not all puppies and roses. In likely the most inane moment of the whole spot, Gray uses the GoJo to pin what is clearly a white iBook to his face. It's as useless a moment as it is dubious, seeing as all that's holding the device in place is a tiny suction cup.
It gets worse. Probably the most ironic claim about the GoJo is that it "reduces texting while driving." The reason for this should be pretty obvious and also dryly funny. After all, you can't text on a phone that's pinned to your face.
"This is my daughter, who I don't want texting and driving," says a "mother" as her "daughter" stands sheepishly smiling by her side.
It's all a big joke, really. The GoJo exists in a world where Bluetooth headsets don't, where statements like "Bluetooth/Earbuds increase radiation 300%" are true, and where people must - must - use the phone while breakdancing.
And Joe Gray himself? A former musician, University of Central Florida wide receiver, and communications major, Gray describes himself as a "big strong man" who cries a lot. Pitchmen are rarely honest, but I'm certain that last bit is true: Gray does cry a lot. And it's probably because he created the GoJo.