X
Business

Bitcoin lovers lament transaction malleability: Got goxxed?

The end of MtGox. The wildly fluctuating prices. The major losses and hacks. The utter nonsense of it all. It hurts, doesn't it? But you know what? I told you so.
Written by Ken Hess, Contributor

No one wants to hear those four small words: I told you so. The reason that they're so hard to hear or read is that it means someone had forewarning of a disaster but ignored it. I had never heard the term "transaction malleability" before this whole MtGox Bitcoin thing blew up. But you know what? I didn't need to hear it to know that Bitcoin is inherently flawed. One of its biggest problems, in my opinion, is that is just isn't needed. Why do we need such a currency? What is its purpose? My guess is that its purpose now is to rob people of real money in exchange for nothing or getting "goxxed".

Currently, there are a number of cryptocurrency exchanges, including MtGox, under investigation and a US Sentor (Joe Manchin (D - W.Va.) calling for a ban on Bitcoin.

Before I go on, here is an excerpt from what I'm calling the Virtual Book of Lamentations, written especially for Bitcoin and MtGox:

How deserted lies MtGox,
once so full of Bitcoin!
How like a widow is she,
who once was great among the nations!
She who was queen among the exchanges
has now become a slave.

Bitterly she weeps at night,
tears are on her cheeks.
Among all her lovers
there is no one to comfort her.
All her friends have betrayed her;
they have become her enemies.

After affliction and harsh hacking,
MtGox has gone into exile.
She dwells among the nations;
she finds no resting place.
All who pursue her have overtaken her
in the midst of her distress.

Yes, those lines are a blatant ripoff of the opening lines from the book of Lamentations from The Bible but don't you think it fits? I do. It hit me that Bitcoiners everywhere will soon sing the song of lamentation for their beloved but heartless mistress. For she is the harlot who betrays her suitors.

Sorry, it's more than just a little funny to me. I did try to warn you. And later, I even gave you more warning. Cyberspace dwellers are a tough crowd. They believe in their false ideologies and their false profits all the way into bankrupt oblivion.

Reportedly, almost 750,000 BTC has gone missing from MtGox due to transaction malleability problems. That's a lot of money—real or imagined. Lost. Forever. Because, you know, no one backs up Bitcoin or its transactions. You know, like, if your bank had been robbed, it wouldn't affect your personal bank account. Credit card hacks, like the one that hit Target stores, would also not affect your account. You wouldn't be liable for any fraudulent charges. Isn't that awesome? Yes. Yes, it is.

I've seen tweets describing the fallout from all this malleability stuff that say everything from it's a good thing that MtGox is gone to Bitcoin isn't dead to Bitcoin is doomed.

Frankly, I still just don't see the point to it. If you're buying currency, so that you can buy stuff, it's just silly. Just use the money you have. If you can buy it with money, use money. I doubt that there is anything that you can only buy with Bitcoin. Well, unless it's illegal, that is. And I'm pretty sure that they still take greenbacks as well. I've never met anyone so corrupt that he wouldn't accept good ol' American buckazoids.

I think that, in the future, cryptocurrencies might—read might—have a chance in the real world. But it won't be Bitcoin or any of the other ones available now. Why? Because with current offerings, there are no guarantees. It's a gamble. And a very bad one at that. You need a currency that has some guarantee against fraud and hacking. Sure, people do stupid things with their money, regardless of its format, but Bitcoin and other current cryptocurrencies are too risky. Again, you've been warned.

All I have to say to the Bitcoin laments is, "I told you so". 

But this isn't the end. It's only the beginning of the end. Stay tuned.

Related Stories:

Editorial standards