Six new photo filters Facebook should add to Instagram

Thirty minutes ago, popular social network Facebook acquired mobile photo app Instagram for $1 billion.

If you're unfamiliar with the application, it's a social photo-sharing platform that offers a portfolio of one-click photo filters that give digital snapshots an instant look, from rough-and-tumble to overexposed to faded vintage. It's Photoshop for dummies, basically.

In celebration of the sale, here are six new photo filters (with descriptions!) the social network could add:

• Stalker: darkens darks and reduces lights. Particularly adept at hiding faces.
• Winklevoss: creates a mirror image of the photo in question.
• Bender: for that blurry, off-kilter, low-light, it's-three-in-the-morning-and-i'm-trashed feel.
• Reader: embeds a blanked-out version of your photo at the top of your friends' feeds, regardless of publish date. A click is required to unhide it.
• Meme: Layers an inspirational quote on your photo.
• Poke: no one really knows what this one does.