You have two cows...

You have two cows...

Summary: Vinnie Mirchandani has some fun in a blog post applying a technology twist to the revealing and often humorous "two cows" question, such as how political systems or corporations are different from one another (Communism: You have two cows. The government takes both of them and gives you a share of the milk).

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TOPICS: Tech Industry
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Vinnie Mirchandani has some fun in a blog post applying a technology twist to the revealing and often humorous "two cows" question, such as how political systems or corporations are different from one another (Communism: You have two cows. The government takes both of them and gives you a share of the milk).

Here are a few of his gems:

AT&T

You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Then you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow drops dead. You re-purchase the other and hire other consultants to rename it. 

GOOGLE

You have one cow. You sell one inch squares on the cow as advertising space. You are considering tearing down the "you can make money without doing evil" sign on the tail to free up even more advertising space.HPYou have two cows. You package your milk in print cartridges. Per ounce that costs more than even SAP's milk. 

SALESFORCE.COM

You have two cows. You tell everyone else they don't need cows, just milk. And you promise a 99.9% service level of delivery of milk by 6 am every morning.    

Two cows image: Wikipedia 

Topic: Tech Industry

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  • You have two cows... the cyberpunk version.

    Note: Unless you're familiar with cyberpunk literature and its themes, do not read this post.


    You have two cows, but don't like what they are. You want to improve then using cybernetics and biotechnology. You save a sample of DNA from each for a backup, just in case.

    One cow is outfitted with motion-sensing detector chips, anti-predator weapons and countermeasures, nano-enhancements for continuous 24/7 milk production and disease control, and multi-core processors to keep everything under control. The cyber-cow suddenly goes berserk when a general protection fault occurs in one of the processor cores. It takes out several farms and half of a country town before it's finally brought down with an electromagnet.

    You genetically re-engineerer your remaining cow to have the same abilities as the cyber-cow, but without the risk of computer failure. Unfortunately, an unforeseen mutation in the process makes bio-cow human-like. It tries to organize a bovine revolt, but kills itself when it realizes the other cattle were just too stupid to revolt against humans when it is cornered by the FBI.

    You now have zero cows, but remember the DNA samples you saved. You use those samples to clone two new cows that you want to improve using cybernetics and bioengineering...
    Mr. Roboto
  • The Open Source version

    You have an infinite number of disease-free cloned cows that you offer to give away for free to anyone who wants them. You raise them in publicly-accessible fields and glass barns so everybody can see how to properly care for them.

    Nevertheless, most people continue to license virus-prone cows from companies that place legal restrictions on the use of the milk.

    [b]Shareware version:[/b]
    You have an infinite number of cloned bulls that you offer to give away for free to anyone who wants them, so long as they don't eat them. You also sell cows.
    dave.leigh9
    • You left something out

      You raise them in open barns and you ask the public to help feed them. Only problem is that the public is more than happy to come take the mature cows, just that few if are willing to come and feed the cows and spend the years of back breaking work to nurture the cows.

      It?s just the same with open source. Everyone LOVES to take the free code, but how many people actually contribute or even qualified to contribute to the code? A smart programmer spends years laboring over his hard work only to find mega corporations like IBM and HP taking all the fat consulting gigs. What?s a programmer like the founder of Gentoo going to do to feed his family? Why go to work for Microsoft of course.
      georgeou
      • Stretching an analogy to its limit

        True enough, some breeds of cow are more popular than others. In some cases it's very difficult to find anyone to care for them. In other cases the barn is overcrowded with volunteers and some have to be turned away (some of them even start their own dairies). In either event the farmers know that everybody needs milk... even the people who don't have the skills and stamina required to be a farmhand. For the popular breeds, it's not a big deal: there are, after all, an infinite number of cows. For the unpopular or difficult to care for breeds, you will eventually have to get your milk elsewhere. It's the nature of business; even the business of open source cattle farming.


        [i](btw, in the shareware version those should have been "neutered bulls".)[/i]
        dave.leigh9
  • RE: You have two cows...

    AFRICAN POLICY:The agricultural minister takes both .cook them during a ceremony with europeans??? investors. then they agree they need credit to buy two cows to start a farm. when they get the money they kick you out of your land , buy new brand 4x4 drive , and visit you while you and your family are starving to death , put your photo on FAO??? website and ask for new credit
    anko1