Facebook COO: Women should marry women

Facebook COO: Women should marry women

Summary: Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg says a woman should make sure to marry the right man, or even better, a woman. She says that way, the workload is divided more equally.

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Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg, a mother of two, believes women should marry women. In exceptional circumstances, they can marry men, she said during a recent Makers interview (excerpt embedded above). "The most important thing -- and I've said it a hundred times and I'll say it a hundred times -- if you marry a man, marry the right one," Sandberg said. "If you can marry a woman, that's better because the split between two women in the home is pretty even, the data shows." She didn't elaborate on her source. Unlike men, women feel guilty for working full time, according to Sandberg. Furthermore, they are liked less the more they succeed. That's something that needs to change. "I feel guilty when my son says, 'Mommy, put down the BlackBerry, talk to me' and that happens far too much," she said. "I think all women feel guilty. I think what's interesting is I don't know many men who feel guilty. I don't know a lot of men who feel guilty for working full time, it's expected that they'll work full time...I wonder if there were more shared responsibility if more men would feel guilty too and women would feel less of it." Sandberg didn't exactly follower her own advice: she married SurveyMonkey CEO David Goldberg. We can presume though, that he's the right man. For years, Sandberg has been leaving at 5:30 PM so she could be home for dinner with her children. She recently started saying this publicly in the hopes of encourage others to do the same. See also:

Topics: Social Enterprise, CXO, IT Employment

Emil Protalinski

About Emil Protalinski

Emil is a freelance journalist writing for CNET and ZDNet. Over the years,
he has covered the tech industry for multiple publications, including Ars
Technica, Neowin, and TechSpot.

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51 comments
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  • Poor David Goldberg...

    it must be harsh to hear your wife would rather have married a woman, and advocates it for every other woman in earshot. I wonder what her son is going to ask her after hearing about this statement at school?

    Being a cynic I suppose I shouldn't be surprised, but I am sometimes shocked by what people say in public.

    Regards,
    Jon
    JonathonDoe
    • I concur...

      It wouldn't at all be a nice thing to hear from your wife. If this is an honest belief on her part, there could be a lot of stuff going on in the background we're not party to. But the speculation could be cut short in that they're not celebrities, as it were. Still, they are high-profile people in American business. I do know this--if my wife were to make the same statements, I'd be alarmed.
      Galidari
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    goworldsale
  • Wait a minute, I thought Facebook didn't have any women in powerful

    positions within the company.
    baggins_z
  • it makes sense

    what's better for children than having a mommy?
    Answer: two mommies! ;)
    The Linux Geek
    • Needed change

      Especially boys! For too long, our society encouraged little boys to grow up believing that they would have a role to play in the family, and would be allowed to live in the same house with their biological children. We need them to see that when they grow up they'll be expected to just sort of disappear.
      Robert Hahn
  • So then men have to marry men

    There will be no women to marry

    Count me out.
    D.T.Long
    • Yeah...

      I'm not gay, either. I guess it's time for straight-bashing now. Lord knows we all should be held accountable for all the years gays were (are) persecuted even though there are those of us who feel bad about that.
      Galidari
  • feeling guilty

    Of course she's feeling guilty. By having kids, she took on a responsibility which she isn't meeting. Her conscience is telling her to stop being selfish and invest the proper amount of time with her family considering she chose to have children.
    So sad.
    wendellgee2
    • But...

      ...American business gives people hell everyday. It's like what they want and their success always outweighs family needs. "You don't want to sacrifice time, so obviously you don't want to get ahead." It's this kind of black and white thinking that's given business a bad rap. They need to cut it out!
      Galidari
  • Unequal around the home?

    I think a large part of the sentiment among women that men do not pull their own weight around the house stems from the fact that men and women differ on what weights actually need pulling.

    For example, I understand the idea of a clean towel, but not a folded towel. It makes precisely no difference to me whether towels are nicely folded or crammed in haphazardly in whatever shape they will fit. From my perspective folding towels is as random and arbitrary an act as, say, standing on my head and spouting shakespeare.

    Yet, if I don't stand on my head and spout shakespeare, I'm not pulling my weight around the house. ;)
    SlithyTove
    • unfolded towels

      Unfolded towels take up more space than folded ones, though. It also looks nicer, and towels are easier to find. You may not care, but you're probably still grateful when guests/friends are over that common areas are well-organized and presentable. I think it's also a case of being considerate for your partner who does care, and it's not like folding towels is a terrible, difficult chore or something.

      Now folding fitted sheets on the other hand, takes a bit more effort and has a higher difficulty, but it's still worth doing so that when you put on fresh sheets, they're not all wrinkled and crumpled up so the made bed doesn't look unkempt.

      Of course, division of household work is important if certain chores are better suited to one person or another (or one likes to do it while the other does not), but the division needs to be done fairly, with the difficulty of chores and the frequency with which they must be done are calculated into the equation. A rotation where everyone has to do each chore at least once might be fairer, and would help give each person a greater appreciation of what others do.
      Krantzstone
      • Only your opinion

        How come it seems to be left up to me when my wife and I come home from the range, to clean and maintain the pistols and rifles? Why shouldn't my wife reload some of the cartridges that she fires through her own Glock? Why am I asked to come and fix a problem with her computer?
        Well I don't really expect her to feel motivated to do certain things that I am more motivated to do myself. Nor do I expect any pressure from her to get me to do things that she can do perfectly well herself. I don't put pressure on her and the understanding is that she doesn't on me. If I feel like a chocolate cake I'll make one for the both of us. If I don't like the way that she cooks a particular meal then that motivates me to get up first and cook it myself.
        Do what you feel personally motivated to do and if there is anything that isn't getting done then perhaps it doesn't need to be done.
        greggatshack
      • See, that is a perfect example...

        "Now folding fitted sheets on the other hand, takes a bit more effort and has a higher difficulty, but it's still worth doing so that when you put on fresh sheets, they're not all wrinkled and crumpled up so the made bed doesn't look unkempt."

        It is worth it.... to you. You have chosen to exchange some of your time for a neat looking bed because you find that valuable. And there is nothing wrong with that.

        But it shouldn't be an assumption that this is something that *everyone* cares about or that it *needs* doing. A clean, rumpled sheet from the linen closet is just as hygienic as a clean folded one.

        I often don't mind helping doing things around the house that I view as pointless as long as it is understood that I am helping with something my girlfriend wants, and there should be reciprocity for the activity.
        SlithyTove
    • Efficiency!

      If you think that ???folding towels is arbitrary??? then that shows your lack of understanding. It???s about efficiency; folded towels give you more space for more towels or other things. I wonder if your attitude carries over to the work place as well where being efficient makes a big difference to the bottom line.
      kelvint63
      • It depends

        If you lack space more than you lack time, folding towels is more efficient with the resource that counts. If you lack time more than you lack space, folding towels may or not be the most efficient thing to do - depending on if the lack of folding makes it harder to find a towel. Most of the time, the quickest type of fold that keeps them generally organized even if they don't look super neat is most efficient. (Over-analysis?)

        Anyway SlithyTove has a point, whether his example is the best one or not - women do tend to prioritize things differently than men, but those differences are overall a good thing.
        jddunlap
      • Efficiency!

        If you think folding towels is efficient it shows your lack of understanding.

        It's true that a folded towel takes up less space, but only by about 10% vs simply cramming them in. This gap can easily be made up for by simply having 10% fewer towels which lowers your costs and depreciable assets.

        On the other hand you are making your towel-putting-away operation several hundred percent less efficient than simply wedging it in there.

        So it trades a large (in the scope of a towel laundry operation anyway) productivity loss for a small gain in storage efficiency.

        But, if optimizing space use were your intent you would be rolling them into tubes rather than folding them.

        I wonder if your attitude of getting caught up in unnecessary minutiae carries over to the workplace as well where being efficient makes a big difference to the bottom line. ;)
        SlithyTove
      • I don't fold the towels

        Because my wife wants them folded a certain way and says I do it wrong. That's fine because she doesn't take care of the pool or yard so she can fold them however she wants :-)
        non-biased
    • "need" is relative

      Folded towels store better, and are less likely fall into the toilet/floor when you pull one out. Saving laundry redos(not important unless its your job). But if you're an unkempt troll that lives in a cave, with your towels piled in the corner, then you are correct. Your towels don't "need" folding. But mine do.

      Shakespeare falls under entertainment, especially if you're upside down. And anyone doing it is never considered pulling their own weight.
      invmgr@...
      • good lord, people

        How hard is it to fold towels??? Speaking as the man who does the laundry in my family, towels are the easiest and fastest thing to fold and put away. Sheesh.
        jreuter