Friday Fun: Five ways to end your career as a PC tech

Tired of your job repairing PCs? Sick of family and friends asking you for 'five minutes' of your time to fix a problem? No problem! Here are five tips to help you change careers quickly!

1. Carelessness with screwdrivers! As a PC tech, screwdrivers are your life. You are the Jedi and the #2 Phillips screwdriver is your lightsabre. But if you're looking for an exit then the trick is to act utterly clueless and ham-fisted when when it comes to handling this tool. Juggle with it if you have to, because I can guarantee you that the first time you let it fall heavily onto a motherboard or into a live PSU will be the last time that your boss (or Uncle Joe) will ask you to fix a PC.
2. Take pride is having parts left over at the end of the job This is a must. But make sure that what you have left over looks impressive. A few screws are boring. A heatsink, a stick of RAM or some random part with a lot of wires coming from it is a LOT more impressive.
3. Format. Format! FORMAT! Make this your default answer for any and all problems. Stuck key? Format! Jittery mouse? Format! Outdated drivers? FORMAT! FORMAT! FORMAT!!!!
4. People love toolbars! When you get a PC in for repair, remember that people love toolbars, so do them a favor and preinstall a couple of dozen. It shouldn't be hard, just forget to uncheck the option when you install new software or drivers. If people question your judgment, say it's all in the name of productivity.
5. 'THROW IT ON THE PATIO!' The ultimate test that should be applied to all tech that comes into your hands. Only when a device has been successfully 'patio'd' can you be sure that you've carried out a successful repair.

Yep, ending your career as a PC tech really is that easy!