Friday Fun: Five ways to end your career as a PC tech

Friday Fun: Five ways to end your career as a PC tech

Summary: Tired of your job repairing PCs? Sick of family and friends asking you for 'five minutes' of your time to fix a problem? No problem! Here are five tips to help you change careers quickly!

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TOPICS: Hardware
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Tired of your job repairing PCs? Sick of family and friends asking you for 'five minutes' of your time to fix a problem? No problem! Here are five tips to help you change careers quickly!

  1. Carelessness with screwdrivers! As a PC tech, screwdrivers are your life. You are the Jedi and the #2 Phillips screwdriver is your lightsabre. But if you're looking for an exit then the trick is to act utterly clueless and ham-fisted when when it comes to handling this tool. Juggle with it if you have to, because I can guarantee you that the first time you let it fall heavily onto a motherboard or into a live PSU will be the last time that your boss (or Uncle Joe) will ask you to fix a PC.
  2. Take pride is having parts left over at the end of the job This is a must. But make sure that what you have left over looks impressive. A few screws are boring. A heatsink, a stick of RAM or some random part with a lot of wires coming from it is a LOT more impressive.
  3. Format. Format! FORMAT! Make this your default answer for any and all problems. Stuck key? Format! Jittery mouse? Format! Outdated drivers? FORMAT! FORMAT! FORMAT!!!!
  4. People love toolbars! When you get a PC in for repair, remember that people love toolbars, so do them a favor and preinstall a couple of dozen. It shouldn't be hard, just forget to uncheck the option when you install new software or drivers. If people question your judgment, say it's all in the name of productivity.
  5. 'THROW IT ON THE PATIO!' The ultimate test that should be applied to all tech that comes into your hands. Only when a device has been successfully 'patio'd' can you be sure that you've carried out a successful repair.

Yep, ending your career as a PC tech really is that easy!

Topic: Hardware

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15 comments
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  • RE: Friday Fun: Five ways to end your career as a PC tech

    How about just telling your customer/family member that they are just too f'ing stupid to operate a computer and to box it up and send back to the manufacturer with an apology letter. That should work.
    jmiller1978
  • Just say 'No'

    This is your PC. This is your PC on fire (thanks to lighter fluid).
    Any Questions?
    Will Pharaoh
  • Rivalry amongst the ZDNet Bloggers???

    Great list Adrian

    But could it be that this is just a (not so) thinly veiled dig at JP?

    ;-)
    iTeaBoy
  • RE: Friday Fun: Five ways to end your career as a PC tech

    Hah this was actually pretty funny.
    LoverockDavidson
  • Clean Windows install fixes all

    Sort of borrowing from the format... Gets rid of all those pesky apps, settings, etc. and truly makes the machine run like new. Try a prerequisite task the user must do first..chance is pretty good you won't hear from them again.
    NotMSUser
  • Kinda related

    Maybe?

    http://www.focus.com/fyi/operations/how-to-be-a-terrible-network-admin/
    bobiroc
  • Just tell them...

    Just tell them you only work on Macs.
    If they have a Mac, tell them you work on PCs.
    If they have both, tell them you only work with Linux.
    olePigeon
  • Just go to all events wearing this T-Shirt

    http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts-apparel/unisex/frustrations/388b/

    I actually have this T-Shirt. It seems like at almost every family or friend gathering I get at least 1 person that asks me "Hey, I got a computer question for you"

    The worst was when my own Grandmother was complaining about her computer not working at my own wedding. No rest for a geek I guess.
    bobiroc
  • Edumication

    Tell them you learned everything you know about technology from the comments section of tech blogs!
    use_what_works_4_U
    • Or better yet, YouTube. [nt]

      [nt]
      olePigeon
  • Reverse the flux inverters

    The patio, eh?

    Somebody gave me their dead Toshiba netbook. Dead hard drive. That's $50, but loading an OS on it sounds like more trouble than it's worth (no DVD drive).

    So: try "kinetic maintenance" to see if the dead hard drive will come to life. So far no luck, but I had not yet tried dropping it on the patio floor. That's next.
    Robert Hahn
  • RE: Friday Fun: Five ways to end your career as a PC tech

    YBefore anyone bitches incessantly, were'nt we the ones that started everything off but volunteering to help, and "call me if you have any problems"? If you ever are going to volunteer, be prepared to forever wear the "repairman title". Your boss asked you to help repair something? How did he ever come to know you knew how to repair computers? Did you volunteer once, either to honestly help or to kiss butt? Truth be told, I may get aggravated about relatives who only call me when something fails on their pc or laptop, but I get an amazing thrill to hear that shriek of joy when everything works right. You just can't have it both ways. BTW, I know your ideas were rhetorical, but funny. Anyone reading this post have all been there and done dat!
    Charles_B
  • Let's go beyond the toolbars

    After installing 3 year old update-sparse antivirus make sure to disable it so that the end user doesn't have to. It's so annoying when they can't download that video because the AV keeps getting in the way.
    Also, if you install any software make sure to keep a copy of the installer on the desktop. Otherwise it won't work. A couple of New Folder (2) and (3)'s wouldn't hurt either.
    keebaud@...
  • @cboquin

    You don't really need to offer help. All they need is to know that you work in IT and that will be enough incentive for them to start asking for your help. I just let them know my current hourly fee with a minimum of two hours, no credit and pay in advance.
    Buitremx
  • RE: Friday Fun: Five ways to end your career as a PC tech

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