Perhaps it's a result of the emphases in the document to which the authors responded. Whatever the reason, almost all of them discussed making herself known. Each recognizes that she is intelligent, accomplished, talented. But has difficulty broadcasting her virtues.
Consider the following quotes:
In conversations I?ve had recently with other women in the tech arena, one common feeling is that our profiles aren?t as high as we would like and that we?re losing work as a result.
Women are often less confident in their own abilities and thus less likely to promote themselves as much as their male counterparts.
I find that in comparison to my male colleagues I seem to always doubt myself more than they do, agonize more, and feel overly apologetic more often. I?m also a people pleaser and that means I need more confirmation to feel good about something.
Furthermore, important for women and also their biggest challenge today, is to stop being good girls only and start promoting their own interests. Women need to dare taking the steering wheel and show what they can, instead of focusing on what they cannot do and being good at silence. We need to ask more questions and engage in the discussion.
The reference to silence is in contrast to another author's: "My 'womanliness' in my personal and work context means listening to silence and understanding what silence can articulate."]
Sometimes a woman?s worst enemies are other women. The last thing I ever looked for or needed in my career was women to guide me on how to work with and compete with men. More self-confident? Please guide those of us who are too self-confident, so confident that others stare in disbelief. For that guidance, I have mostly looked to men.
The part I find amusing, actually, is the title of the survey. They call it ?centered? management perhaps because the moniker ?self? centered connotes the traditionally megalomaniacal, self-absorbed tendencies of the ruthless CEO ? Larry Ellison comes to mind as one example.
Living parts of my life in out in public on Twitter has taught me loads about Positive Framing, and success at framing things more positively has brought me through hurdles I would previously have feared. I?ve seen and done plenty in Engaging and Connecting there too, with surreal results.
A problem with this view that the lack of self-advertising is a major reason for less-than-optimal achievement is that the individual may come to believe it.
As WS Gilbert, an expert on human weakness, put it in Ruddigore:
My boy, you may take it from me,
That of all the afflictions accurst
With which a man's saddled
And hampered and addled,
A diffident nature's the worst.
Though clever as clever can be
A Crichton of early romance
You must stir it and stump it,
And blow your own trumpet,
Or, trust me, you haven't a chance!
Chorus:
If you wish in the world to advance,
Your merits you're bound to enhance,
You must stir it and stump it,
And blow your own trumpet,
Or, trust me, you haven't a chance!
Now take, for example, my case:
I've a bright intellectual brain
In all London city
There's no one so witty
I've thought so again and again.
I've a highly intelligent face
My features cannot be denied
But, whatever I try, sir,
I fail in and why, sir?
I'm modesty personified!
[Chorus]
As a poet, I'm tender and quaint
I've passion and fervour and grace
From Ovid and Horace
To Swinburne and Morris,
They all of them take a back place.
Then I sing and I play and I paint:
Though none are accomplished as I,
To say so were treason:
You ask me the reason?
I'm diffident, modest, and shy!
[Chorus]
Last week, my dead tree copy of McKinsey Quarterly arrived bearing the above title. This section caught my eye (p.45 and written by Joanne Barsch, Susie Cranston and Rebecca A. Craske):
One surprising thing we learned as a result of talking with female leaders was that they often fail to reciprocate and find expectations that they should do so distasteful. A senior partner at McKinsey noted that men naturally understand that you must “give before you get”, but women don’t.
Wow! That made me think. As someone whose partner has made a life long study of inequalities, I am regularly corrected on my own incorrectedness. But does McKinsey resonate with others? I asked some of the women I know what they think. I sent them the link from a Forbes extract and a link to the PDF of the full report. What follows are their responses, lightly edited and in no particular order.
Some may be known to readers, others less so. They’re all women whose thinking , judgment and values I admire, respect and enjoy. In their own way, they’re all ‘irregular.’ I thank them all for taking time to contribute.
Suw Charman-Anderson: independent social media consultant and author of Chocolate and Vodka:
Recession is hard for everyone, but it’s particularly worrying for freelancers who rely on businesses both valuing and being willing to pay for our expertise. In conversations I’ve had recently with other women in the tech arena, one common feeling is that our profiles aren’t as high as we would like and that we’re losing work as a result.
Women are often less confident in their own abilities and thus less likely to promote themselves as much as their male counterparts. Now more than ever, it is essential for us to nurture our public profile. Whether via LinkedIn or Facebook or a blog, we need to not just display our skill and expertise but also talk publicly about our aims and ambitions - you never know who is looking for someone just like you.
The only way I’ve been able to build my confidence is to go right to the edge of my comfort zone and take some risks. One of the best things I have ever done is stand up on a box at Speakers Corner and
orate about issues such as DRM and copyright. No conference, no meeting, no pitch can ever be as terrifying as confronting a huge, perplexed and occasionally drunk crowd over the issue of copyright
term extension.
It may feel icky to us, but we do need to get better at marketing and promoting ourselves. And although it may make us feel vulnerable, standing up in front of our peers and sharing our expertise is a great way to build our reputation and, therefore, our careers. Our future is in our hands - we just need to grasp the nettle.
Rachel Happe –>
