What would you do for a free iPhone 3G S?

What would you do for a free iPhone 3G S?

Summary: Would you be willing to sacrifice this cute little puppy for an iPhone 3G S? Or de-friend your closest friends and family on Facebook, for two years?

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Would you be willing to sacrifice this cute little puppy for an iPhone 3G S? Or de-friend your closest friends and family on Facebook, for two years?

[Disclaimer: If you haven't figured it out, this post was a humorous, albeit dark attempt at pointing out that people are willing to do some pretty horrible things for very small material gain. If you don't like being reminded of the fact that humanity as a whole is a pretty despicable collection of erect hominids, that's too bad. Be it as it may, I happen to love animals myself, and I've adopted two dogs from Petfinder.com, which is an organization I recommend heartily.]

Given that today was iPhone 3G S review mania day, I've given up all hope of publishing anything meaningful today on ZDNet for fears of it being buried in the cumulative iPile. Apple product releases are like the Britney Spears or the Paris Hiltons of the tech reporting industry, the irrational obsession with them seems to monopolize virtually all the screen space on the various tech news outlets when some new development or enhancement comes along.

So rather than beating them, or resigning not to post anything at all, I've decided to join them. That being said I think it's a given that people LOVE iPhones. But how much?

Click on the "Read the rest of this entry" link below for more.

Earlier this year Burger King had a Whopper Sacrifice promotion where if you de-friended 10 of your friends on FaceBook, you received a coupon for a free Whopper burger. Amazingly, a huge amount of people were willing to do this. However, I suspect that for a free iPhone 3G S with two free years of data and voice service -- assume it's the upper-end, 32GB model -- that more serious, heinous acts of inhumanity would be willing to be committed by the average iPhone junkie.

So I'm taking an informal poll: Which of the following horrible, unconscionable things would you be willing to do for a free iPhone 3G S? And if I left anything out, Talk Back and Let Me Know.

[poll id="17"]

Topics: iPhone, CXO, Mobility, Networking, Telcos, Unified Comms

About

Jason Perlow, Sr. Technology Editor at ZDNet, is a technologist with over two decades of experience integrating large heterogeneous multi-vendor computing environments in Fortune 500 companies. Jason is currently a Partner Technology Strategist with Microsoft Corp. His expressed views do not necessarily represent those of his employer.

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Talkback

131 comments
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  • I'd eat a Klondik Bar! (nt)

    .
    ye
    • Good one!!!!

      Me too
      Nsaf
    • I clicked on this story just so I could write that.

      and you beat me to it.
      Tigertank
  • RE: What would you do for a free iPhone 3G S?

    "I?ve given up all hope of publishing anything meaningful on
    ZDNet"

    Really? I didn't know you'd started.
    Piot
    • IPhone 3GS

      Give me a free IPhone 3GS and I'll use it only as a cell phone. Now isn't that sick or what?
      tercom
  • Easy one.

    Run Vista unpatched... on a scrap machine.
    zak89
    • Nope

      Has to be your main, production box. Animal cruelty is sounding a lot more attractive now, isn't it?
      jperlow
      • Nah.. Not really..

        Already run Vista and 7 without AV tho I do patch regularly... No sweat... And no, I don't visit the deep, dark recesses of the festering cesspools on the wild and wooly side of the web.

        Wolfie2K3
  • Feel Your Pain

    You could have done a story on how the Watergate Break-
    in affected tech. It is the 37th anniversary. I mention.
    Tomorrow is another deadline, after all.

    I do sympathize, though. Dignan, O'Grady, Morgenstern,
    and Diaz will bring us fully nuanced interpretations of the
    press release. One of them will mention that they'd rather
    have a tablet. Miller already weighed in with his problems.
    Someone will speculate on TTJB (Time to Jail Break). Foley
    always has a new Microsoft acronym to find and ponder.
    Leggio can talk if iPhone OS 3.0 affects the social networks
    in any way. Somebody will test the new MobileMe feature,
    "Find my iColumn" and report. Murphy will be working on
    Saturday's feature, Chapter 27 on why US healthcare
    reforms are doomed, philosophically and because it won't
    use Solaris enough.

    I say these things with affection for all. But for you and
    me, isn't there another option? Specifically "Nothing"? I
    think that click would get some serious patronage and for
    different reasons. Analyze who clicks that and why and -
    boom- next blog post, if the Watergate thing doesn't tickle
    your fancy.

    DannyO_0x98
    • Filter development ;-)

      I believe Wolfram is working on a new filter. Although only in beta it analyses an author's work against facts from reputable sources and translates e.g.

      Mary Jo Foley "Vista has not been the success Microsoft expected" translates to "Vista and the Titanic shared a common fate".

      Robin Harris "don't use desktop RAID 5 - buy a DROBO instead" translates to "RAID 1 is to be preferred to desktop RAID 5 and DROBO's hidden dynamic RAID 5 implementation".

      Ed Bott "my friends a family all went WOW on seeing Vista's Media Centre capabilities" to "consumers were most impressed with large screen TV's and DVD's five years before Vista's release: see MJF for Vista market reaction"

      Paul Murphy "SUN rocks" to "SUN Microsystems is no more and rock processor development has been cancelled".

      DOG's "ZDNET is against piracy and illegal hardware tying by vendors ... but here is how to build a DELL mini hackintosh" caused the filter some trouble, eventually producing a surprisingly accurate result:

      "Schizophrenia (pronounced /?sk?ts??fr?ni?/ or /?sk?ts??fri?ni?/), from the Greek roots skhizein (???????, "to split") and phr?n, phren- (????, ????-; "mind")".

      Still plenty of work to do. All statements made by politicians result in:
      INSUFFICIENT CONTENT:UNABLE TO TRANSLATE

      I think you'll agree though this new filter shows much promise ;-)
      jacksonjohn
  • I would sell my daughter

    into white slavery.
    But, she probably would refuse unless she got an iPhone also.
    davebarnes
  • Even if I did get one.

    I would sell it and buy an actual smartphone, mpt a candybar phone that pretends to be a smartphone.
    jdbukis@...
    • Just make sure...

      ...that whatever you get, it has spell-check
      capabilities. :-)
      marioveguez
  • Poor taste warning

    "overshadowed by all of the cumulative iPile"
    The words 'all' and 'cumulative' are superfluous, so apt is the coinage of iPile. I'm voting for it in 'ZDNET word of the year'. I must pull you up though on 'overshadowed ... iPile': the metaphor would read better as 'buried ... iPile'. No doubt 'iExcrement hitting the iFanboys' was rejected as too wordy, just like my posts.

    "Earlier this year Burger King had a Whopper sacrifice Promotion..."
    I believe the winning entry was: "Go on a junk-food diet for a year." Genius.

    Jason, your article is in bad taste ... however my shrink advises me to join in lest I commit the undermentioned in real life, so here goes:

    1. Give up sex for a year. [My shrink says sex is always the first consideration.]

    2. Give up substance abuse for a month.

    3. Give up alcohol for a week.

    4. Give up the Internet for a day. [You wanted deserving commitment, right?]

    5. Remove www.cuteoverload.com from my Favourites.

    6. Remove all Swedish sites from my Favourites.

    7. Buy licenses for all my DELL-mini hackintoshes.

    8. Take the 'portable with free flight to America' from DELL UK ... come and collect my freebie ... and then trash the portable.

    9. Cancel my 'Sponsor a Child in Africa' subscriptions.

    10. Remove Internet Explorer from all PC's in Europe. [Gotta be worth a 2 year subscription to, lets see - AT&T - that one!]

    11. Stop reading 'Microsoft Codenames by MJF' [OK,OK, you caught me cheating - I've stopped already.]

    12. Distribute stickers, lots of stickers

    - former president Bush: "This PC is VISTA CAPABLE and may cause nuclear explosions'

    - for small notebook PC's: 'WARNING: may contain traces of nuts, CPU, screen, keyboard, old operating systems'

    - Windows 7 ULTIMATE: like Vista Ultimate, does not exist

    - for small notebook PC's:'my other calculator is a computer'

    I'm done for now, feeling a lot better, thanks. See you in rehab again next week? ;-)
    jacksonjohn
    • Brilliant

      Thanks for the suggestion on the opening graf, I admit the phrasing was awkward.
      jperlow
  • RE: What would you do for a free iPhone 3G S?

    I would read all your fabulous apple bashing comments !
    A great sacrifice?
    Joseph_Proudhon
  • More Options

    Not that your options are bad, but some sound rather tasty. I might do them just so I could get an iPhone.

    But for the sake of argument. I thought I would add some options.

    1. BBQ your neighbors pet on their porch in time for them to come home.

    2. Go Vegan (Painful for almost any geek, including myself)

    3. Give Up WoW, forever.

    4. Do Google Image Search with Filter settings on strict.

    5. a. For Liberals, Admit that Bill O'Riley is right.
    5. b. For Republicans, Admit Bill Maher is right.
    5. c. For everyone else, "Make a decision."

    6. Give of ZDnet Talkbacks.

    7. Try not to crack a smile when some one responds to Mike Cox.
    nucrash
    • LOL

      [i]2. Go Vegan (Painful for almost any geek, including myself)[/i]

      So true!
      Loverock Davidson
    • 4. Do Google Image Search with Filter settings on strict.


      4. Do Google Image Search with Filter settings on strict.

      And to void free pron?.
      no freaking way.
      magallanes
    • Go vegan? BLEAH

      [b]2. Go Vegan (Painful for almost any geek, including myself)[/b]

      I'm gonna have a steak tonite....


      mmmmMMM... Steak...
      Wolfie2K3