The NBN drinking game

The NBN drinking game

Summary: As a devout follower of every action our elected officials make, it's no big revelation to me that they're fairly repetitive with a turn of phrase. Nowhere more so now than in debate around the National Broadband Network.


As a devout follower of every action our elected officials make, it's no big revelation to me that they're fairly repetitive with a turn of phrase. Nowhere more so now than in debate around the National Broadband Network (NBN).

To get me through the endless repetition, I have been developing my own NBN debate drinking game. The rules are you take a sip of your preferred beverage of choice for every time one of the following words or phrases is spoken by our politicians.

  • Important piece of national infrastructure — Labor's favourite phrase for its broadband baby.
  • Digital divide — Labor has said that the NBN aims to close the digital divide. However some, including the Alliance for Affordable Broadband, beg to differ.
  • McKinsey implementation study — The document commissioned by the government and released earlier this year that analyses the NBN project.
  • Business case — The government refused to release the NBN Co business case given to them earlier this month, however after Independent Senator Nick Xenophon refused to vote on telecommunications reform legislation, the government agreed to release a 36-page summary of the document.
  • Cost-benefit analysis — since the election Shadow Communications Minister Malcolm Turnbull has continually called for a rigorous cost-benefit analysis of the NBN project.
  • Productivity Commission — The government's independent research and advisory body that Turnbull would like the government to commission to do the analysis.
  • Microeconomic reform — Prime Minister Julia Gillard and Communications Minister Stephen Conroy say the NBN is "major" microeconomic reform.
  • Obstructionist — Conroy says the coalition is being obstructionist in their moves to block NBN legislation in parliament.
  • Wreckers — Opposition Leader Tony Abbott told Turnbull to "demolish" the NBN, and subsequently Labor have accused the coalition of being NBN wreckers.
  • White elephant — The coalition refers to the NBN as Labor's white elephant.
  • Filibuster — A method of hijacking debate of legislation in parliament in an attempt to delay the passing of the legislation. This week Labor accused the Coalition of filibustering in the senate to prevent the passing of the telecommunications reform legislation.
  • Points of Interconnect — A source of controversy for the network, NBN Co has proposed 14 major points of interconnect where access seekers will connect to the NBN. The proposal has sparked outrage from service providers and backhaul providers alike.
  • Monopoly — Labor has said that part of the reason for the NBN is to remove the monopoly Telstra has over the last mile. The coalition says all this will do will create a new government-owned monopoly.
  • Could cost up to — the coalition has seized upon media reports that suggest that the cost of rewiring your home to use the NBN could be up to $3000 per household.

If you followed this game during this week's action in the Senate, I congratulate you if you're still standing.

ZDNet Australia encourages responsible alcohol consumption. I recommend conducting your own cost-benefit analysis on consuming alcohol and the effects on your health before undertaking this task.

Have we missed any? What NBN catchphrases would you add to this game?

Topics: Government, Broadband, Government AU, NBN


Armed with a degree in Computer Science and a Masters in Journalism, Josh keeps a close eye on the telecommunications industry, the National Broadband Network, and all the goings on in government IT.

Kick off your day with ZDNet's daily email newsletter. It's the freshest tech news and opinion, served hot. Get it.


Log in or register to join the discussion
  • Add 'detailed analysis': but the designated driver must only drink when Conroy says it.
  • If you drink too little, Malcolm will whinge and if you drink too much, Malcolm will whinge.

    But what if you drink just right, will Malcolm be happy?...

    No of course not, Malcolm will still whinge, so...
  • You forgot the two most important ones: "School Halls" and "Pink Batts" you could get really hammered listening to Abbott with these two.
    Hubert Cumberdale
  • And you can add a chaser every time you hear the words scams, spams and portal spoken in quick succession.