There are two schools of thought in the arcane tradition of naming wireless networking standards. One tends towards the cryptic number group, as in 802.11b, harking back to the days of five-figure Enigma codes crackling their way through war-swept skies. Cool. The other eschews this in favour of mysterious figures of myth and history -- Bluetooth, the ancient Scandinavian king, is a case in point. The latest wireless standard is called ZigBee. I have no idea to whom, what or where this refers, but I'm trying to find out. (In an attempt to confuse the issue, it's also called 802.15.4: I'm ignoring that.) I'm also trying to find out how it works, what it's for and how it'll fit in with everything else. That's OK, that's my job -- what's not OK is that one of the primary ZigBee protagonists is Philips. Philips is unique for a couple of reasons. It is Europe's only truly huge consumer and professional electronics company, and it is the hardest company to get any information out of. Ever. Sony comes close, but for sheer ineptitude at marketing, sales and PR, Philips takes the gold. Let me illustrate. With a sinking heart, for I knew of old what was to come, I dug up the main Philips UK switchboard number and prepared myself. There was absolutely no point in asking about wireless networking -- let alone ZigBee -- at this point, but that's OK. I know the score. "Hello, Philips". Ah, hello. Can I talk to your press office, please? "Hold on..."